He who loves e Father Hates e World1Jn2:15,Jn12:25

weird but seriously?

2009-10-01T01:51:00.001+08:00

how come? its not moving anymore?!

i wonder...

2009-10-01T01:50:00.001+08:00

Is it still?

2008-05-13T02:34:00.001+08:00

Toastbox.

Where the place smells with toasted air n oil.

Survived it anyway.

The laksa was superb.

Thanks for the treat babe!

2008-03-06T04:18:00.002+08:00

testing out wordpress.

http://vinchia.wordpress.com

go ahead and comment at the end of every entry. Too bad they cannot accommodate tagboard...

1st Platoon

2008-02-27T18:03:00.004+08:00

racism brought us closer.

indeed.

Marriage

2008-02-23T20:48:00.002+08:00

one of once close female fren just got married.

Of course, it's so blissful to see her happily married to a committed husband.

Each time i witness such a wedding, there's yet another chapter of exaltation learnt from the pastor. I dawned on it, thought and reached deep within n seriously asked if i had that sort of love, not that i didn't knew love was of such, but actually far from it.

Love is not self-seeking, followed by not easily angered.

I do self-seek for my own purpose and i do have my temper when provoked.

1Cor13:4-13 gladly sets love in place. It's insane. Haven't it actually occur to you, an apostle Paul who dedicated his entire life to the gospel of Jesus Christ actually wrote a passage about what love is? Was he even in a relationship then? or was the love of God purposed in the passage so we may find directions and live accordingly?

Conlusion: love is selfless.

but men are selfish.

Quote OC in BMT, "The world is cruel, men are selfish". He knew how the cruelty of the world sets a centre stage for men to live in, to survive in without the option to choose what he may or not like. Men are not women, we do not think like them, but they spent a lifetime thinking why we couldn't be more like themselves.

then again, when i looked at the blissful couple,

i feared.

becos love requires much much more.

n i'm nowhere near.

education

2008-02-21T12:42:00.003+08:00

Alright, here goes. Uni tests are insane although the question are so innocently short. It's almost impossible to cover all the small characters but they MUST purposely come out for the test. It is since my first academic test after two years of NS. It is just as difficult as doing my military papers in advance school.

Somehow, 6 hours of studies can just simply seem inadequate. Project research could easily bite 6 hours in a simple day, leaving you lesser for writings. Study time?

Squeeze.

So, we continue searching and running this rat race that spins every hamster round and round. End of the day to know that interns can earn up as high as 8k a month in Hong Kong as an NTU student on attachment and suck up the inferiority. I asked, how much then should i be deserved? Will i be happier off with more? Competition, status and power? Insanity! Oh, bother me!

Then why run the same race?

Often you take a reference book, read, acquire and becomes knowledgeable about a topic. How much more? Never enough. Then, you make sound judgement to his writings and make a stand. Juicier? Make it a point to firm up your stand. Outstanding? Give them 14 references from all over the place. Show them you have the guts to do in-depth research. Tell them how much you desire situations to be different from your views. Make your debates LOUD. Face off with the theories. Clear the paper, get your grades.

That's education.

WHAT?

Certainly not. Certainly more.

typing test

2008-02-13T13:37:00.000+08:00

89 words

Touch Typing online

Try it today.

times

2008-02-12T05:00:00.000+08:00

'The only easy day, was yesterday...'

Fears, disappointments, despair, hope, strength and sweet victories.

Every move, every step, His existence proved.

He holds His promises.

From CCAs, poly projects, army, spdlight camps, ministries and now SIM, it's been such a journey...

I held my motion for a moment.

Held my breath.

and found my bountiful blessings.

rangers

2008-02-12T04:53:00.000+08:00

(song remains ringing in the wee mornings while marching to cookhouse for breakfast after physical training when the skies weren't yet blue in OCS...)

Mama told johnny not to go downtown...
Airborne RANGERS all around...
Johnny went downtown anyway...
See what the RANGERS got to say...

Johnny, ya left right hey yo,
Johnny, ya left right hey ya!

RANGERS told johnny it was not so easy...
Not the place he wants to be...
Johnny decided to check it out..
Pack his bag and left the house....

Johnny, ya left right hey yo,
Johnny, ya left right hey ya!

1 day 10 days time goes by...
Full of sorrow he couldn't hide..
On his graduation day...
And he says...
AIRBORNE RANGERS LEAD THE WAY!!!

Johnny, ya left right hey yo,
Johnny, ya left right hey ya!

Money

2008-02-06T03:41:00.000+08:00

So i heard n understood, to realize is to have a deep desire.

a longing hunger.

What if i say i wanted financial freedom?

to not run the rat race.

gone will be the days of 8-5s.

there must be more than this.

the market is out there.

to analyze,

and to realize.

the midst

2008-01-31T00:23:00.000+08:00

Finally a show came where it was worth the money.

Catch the mist for a good 140mins of Stephen King's work...

Humanity displayed in desperation to follow whichever believe which offers hope.

The rest of everything much, catch it yourself.

Love it.

Excruciating Pain

2008-01-24T15:24:00.000+08:00

Unimaginable.

I'm trapped in an extreme pain.

Not only it's insane, it's ripping out the remaining soul in my body...

There is no way i can straighten my arms and the pain i repeat, is purely excruciating!

I'm holding my cellphone in an awkward manner and typing right at this moment is 'sensational'.

This early morning when i woke up, my body spoke to me... i spent 15mins at dawn mind talking and de-conflicting every issue and the torture it went through. My tissues woke up to a insane pain in due of the cold temperature of the morning. The excruciating pain of the muscles trying to cold stretch made my mind wild with intense pulsation. I tried massaging it instead, it threw greater tantrum! There shouldn't be any further reason why i should carry on doing it and perhaps, elsewhere made more sense.

Certain things cannot be pushed and there is such a word called, Limit. It's beyond me. I almost fainted(real physical faints) during the run. Perhaps, with more training i could be 'there'. There wasn't any sense of joy doing this. Seems like my body knows better this time than my heart...

Mind over body?

I thought i actually tore my arms.

The 15mins was asking God if i made any sense!

It's either me, or no more...

(anyone who loves me, please pray for me. No kidding. The pain is pure)

Supernanny

2008-01-22T03:44:00.000+08:00

Insomnia sets in.

It's near 4 am and i ain't getting any closer to being sleepy.

Just knew that teenagers elsewhere suffers just as much being overworked and compromised of their time and youth. Studying became tough having to juggle between housework, schoolwork and taking care of their 3 younger brothers. Having to be teenage girls, they were undertaking the jobs of a mum while the parents went scott-free having jobs as their excuse.

Watch Supernanny on youtube on the Chapman family. Having no outlets for their fears and inner voice, Brit fainted during one of the family meetings. I love the hugs. I really do. It has that 'capacity' as a key to open up what's so deep and locked up inside.

Quote, "It is a form of love and healing when you touch another person and the warmth and energy that you get from a hug is just incredible". I appreciate such. Perhaps, many asians would find that insane. It ain't buddy! I would give you a hug if you want to...

l like this phrase across the net, "if you want to be noticed, try being human again".

I should hug my parents.

And my brother often.

n...

my loved one too.

School

2008-01-08T02:37:00.000+08:00

It felt weird to put down my part-time work in chr and i'm feeling the blues already. It sure felt different because another chapter of my life is unfolding in RMIT-SIM. Aus lecturers and papers are kinda diff too but tt challenge nevertheless is exhilarating.

STEP OUT and HUNGER Camp was over and surely these were my two major projects and babies. Now that the work was done, i continue carrying those 'misses' as a part of me. I was glad because both camp met the initial and planned objectives. These two projects enlarged my portfolio and my external field of studying business management. The past 4 months had been productive and i'll continue to build on those improvements.

Some photos from the past to review shared feelings:

New Initiative: 1 Day earlier Advance Party

Step Out Theme by Commandant Yanda

Logistics ready

Initial Prep

Exhilaration

Sharing Prep

Brother and Sister lookalike! (i cannot rotate this photo...)

This pose was vital to capture Thiha Pine's Man moment

Surely overworked but hungry for Bibles

The Man man

i caught them kissing

ah, hungry in the wee morning

no glory, no prize and no task is too lowly for us...

24 men strong committee

our passion & love for God's work

e crux: stepping out

Chia blood runs in us

Chief Leader Trainer...(dis pic is gd stuff)

Chilling out

Gerald is gone and rachel @ e back is hilarious

my kid

don't follow the crowd

Heading nowhere?

sentosa trip for the div

the next future generation and my reason

My next journey begins...

2007-12-23T04:41:00.000+08:00

I can make choices.

n i have a choice.

To choose be defeated,

Or to defeat.

The coast is clear,

i see my enemies,near.

No one else,

this battle is mine n alone to behold.

Lest this be lost or won,

it's no longer my best.

All simply ripped and trapped in a single word, "Where?".

SIM

2007-12-07T06:45:00.000+08:00

Anyway, I'm accepted into RMIT University but would be residing in offshore learning locally in SIM. Went for the briefing today, i can't help but to keep observing my surroundings for faces...

Nothing interesting.

Wellz, the only interesting is, i'm gonna make new friends! Boy, do their faces look bored during the briefing...Come on! Can't wait to join a CCA... Would love to be in Fencing but i don't mind sports game either...or ODAC overseas would be cool...

After too long a time in Army, it's a refreshing start for mugging and starting it all right again for my further education. It might be my last lap alr, it's either a Do or Break kinda thing cos i'm starting Year 2 immediately with no incling to an overseas degree prog n markings...

Well, so much for being a Singaporean son, perhaps it's a good opportunity for breakthroughs and change. Try getting used to Slangs manz! Oh, wadever~.

These 2 years are IMPORTANT to me.

It's hush hush.

Till i see it come to past.

opportunity

2007-12-04T03:26:00.002+08:00

Every situation is an opportunity.

Would you take yours today?

2007-11-27T11:13:00.000+08:00

It became my joy when i noe our speedies are drawing closer to the Lord each n every faithful quiet moments of their lives...

If you ever wanna see SPEEDLIGHT revival come to past,

PRAY.

becos there are many holding the fort,

many who will NOT give up,

many who remembered their heritage,

becos their HOPE is in GOD,

NEVER in man.

Let tt tiny winny lil last hope you've ever left with,

allow that spark to light into the FLAMES of God...

tt consuming FIRE to IGNITE your SOUL.

tt we may stop devouring what others could have benefited more,

to stop HOGGING

n start OFFERING.

n Paul the very missionary man had said-

"It is more blessed to give than to receive"

I concur and say,

May your joy then be complete in the Lord.

LET YOUR

I Want
I Need

becomes

Lord, Your wants
Lord, Your needs

Stop revolving around ourselves

because the Bible was written first to LOVE the LORD your GOD

then thy neighbours (as thyself)

but not

LOVE THE SELF MYSELF.

Are we making ourselves too pretty n hard to catch?

Insanity.

Prayers

2007-11-24T22:30:00.001+08:00

We had the first camp comm prayer n worship meeting today. Thanks worship team (Char n Serena) for making it happen. Those who went, thank you for giving to the Lord =) those not there, no worries cos we know you'd want to be there too so we prayed in proxy for you! =))

These few days I've been thinking about prayer. I've learned so much again from different channels. God is just so good. What makes us stand out at the end of the day speaks much about our spiritual discipline. We could talk day and night about sound plans but without prayers and seeking the will of God, haywire manz. So decision makers be reminded ya? Tt'll align us pretty well back to God.

After the meeting we had further discussions to co-ord and fellowshipped with lunch. Da, Esther, Lynn, Jian Han and i were helping one another get confused over the ferries indent. Simply hilarious. Flu, cough and fever soon caught up but i was much comforted by the team who was concerned and made a few jokes to laugh off the pain=) Thanks guys...

Then not knowing how to spend the sat afternoon away, Salome, Emerald Mark and myself decided to headed Emerald's home for movies. The chance came to know the 3 of them better before which was a prayer i made sometime ago to fellowship with a new group. Reason? Dedicated group forms comfort zone. People out of such comfort zone - left alone wondering where are the rest? Did dis since sec sch, i noe it's insane, but i love meeting new peeps. Really. Emerald hor?

Letters of Iwo Jima. After movies i mounted an ice pack on the forehead. Couldn't take the heat. I was, flame-on.

Then i realized, Mark speaks slow and steadily;organized and tidy. Emerald is strong willed;casual yet passionate. Salome, wellz, simply put it dis way, we just HAVE too many similarities and repeated the exact words during conversations. What's more insane is we share the passion for ORANGE(colour tt is)! Ended up at IKEA for dinner.

So, i realized too my friends thought i'm still operational in NS. Haha... guys, i'm out already!... ORD-ed lo! Some said i had the Army look, speaks Armirish and wondered why i didn't sign on. Haha... Must i? hehz..i didn't really understand y they had tt kind of impression. The 'sey' they said. Is it...

This?
(who so free to capture dis shot when i was busy doing water crossing ops?!!)

or dis?
(hi Daryl...intense attention-must be something serious)

I laughed when i saw the above pic. Who took it?!!! hahaha.. Who so free again!!!? is dis e 'sey' you guys were talking about?

Then back home - comforted by a love call to end the insane day.

Tmr's a battlefield Sunday. Father, show your strength and power so i may labour in joy withYour assurance and commitment to heal me Lord. It's gonna be a fulfilling day again tmr! Why?

The Joy of the Lord shall BE my STRENGTH

17th Monthsary

2007-11-24T22:18:00.001+08:00

Happy 17th Monthsary too

It's been a long while-

thanks for journeying all the way with me =)

OCS

2007-11-22T04:55:00.001+08:00

i miss.

the times when it was just us and ourselves to rely on.

the times.

where we danced silly in the showers without a care.

Without a care.

we sang non-stop hits be it good times and the bad.

The bad.

ain't always the worst.

The worst.

Has yet to come.

I hrt the times when we all wore green,

no differences in creed, race or religion.

that when anyone calls,

the pick up would be right behind cha'...

n those were the days...

Charlie Wing
1st Platoon

Ministry

2007-11-22T04:45:00.000+08:00

Recently the mind was flooded with thoughts.

I started questioning the self if what i was doing was for a purpose.

What if people ain't heeding the same call?

What if it all sums up to nothing?

What if people's mouth ain't theirs anymore but lashes without themselves realizing it?

What about those who discuss forever and takes no part in the solution?

Lord help me focus with Your source, for Your cause.

There are plenty to be done.

Help me to be in the numbers.

war hits

2007-10-31T16:27:00.000+08:00

When War hits,

it hits Hard and hits you Cold.

There is no right, there is no wrong,

there is only what War left you with.

Every son bids farewell to their family,

every husband missed,

every child remembered,

every wife dearly kept close with.

What your enemy took from you,

you want him good as dead.

Nations against nations,

every tongue, tribe and race,

will taste bloodshed,

the pungent smell of rotten flesh and

Weapons against weapons,

strength against strength,

to only begin with,

we're just flesh,

returning back to dust,

when our breath will last...

i did it

2007-10-29T01:48:00.000+08:00

I reinstate-

THE WORD OF GOD IS ACCURATE

and it certainly disciplines.

Within are deep instructions.

Easy enough to teach you rightful ways to live your life.

So I'm glad my girls got the correct and proper perspectives.

To every other else, God died for them too.

Every mothers' son.

Every mothers' daughter.

Every.

Only Adds

2007-10-29T01:27:00.000+08:00

Be yourself.

There's never a need to find you in another else.

Having another doesn't make you him/her.

It's nothing more than it 'seems' like.

Friendship is it as it is.

Just.
____________________________________________________________

Lord, help me to accept things that i have difficulties with.

Really.

It puts me off.

It turns me way off.

n it can only be that.

i am determined

2007-10-24T14:58:00.001+08:00

i am determined to head for a quarter marathon.

apart from looking good and feeling good,

my running shoes are calling out for me.

Perspiration sorts me out, every time.

If you've never tried long distance running, try it.

The art comes in with:

-discipline of the mind over body
-adrenaline creating happy hormones to calm your clammed mind
-determination to see yourself through a process
-pain and sores to remind you how hard you've worked towards a goal
-lungs expansion to help you breathe your life on earth a little longer
-gratitude on how precious and tasty plain water can be after you lose water potential
-Sorting out life's issue with God (e wind, crashing of e waves n solitude always remind me these were made in love for me!)
-no feel of guilt when you attempt to consume your next meal

Just imagine!

the very same pair of hands

2007-10-20T18:27:00.000+08:00

The very same pair of hands that were made good

can be the same destructive pair.

The very same lips that were made good

can harbour destructive words.

The very same weapons made for defense

can be carried for destructive killings.

The very love of God

harbours the risk of free Will...

the very same Will we took advantage to live in our very own ways.

n in our very own ways...

we self-destruct

tasks

2007-10-18T02:57:00.000+08:00

many tasks...

one man.

??????

i dunno

2007-10-18T02:41:00.000+08:00

can't sleep.

tired

mind ain't resolving

thoughts flooding

insanity

possible.

Defining yourself

2007-10-13T08:14:00.000+08:00

Greg, Jia and i went to donate blood today.

Interestingly, i had my thoughts to get all my kids to make session down as well. God gave us a body not only to keep and preserve but we can also do our part for the society and those who desperately need blood during operations.

So, make an appointment with Health Science Authority (HSA) today.

When we had our refreshments, their adrenaline rush for camera shots overwhelmed them and we started taking photos like anything. Was a whole load of simple fun and jokes that kicked us so hard and sent us laughing out loud!

In a flash, i realized we've all grown up. These are my friends i had through the many years in church. Jia made a point that spurred my thoughts - that i do have many friends. From there i started wondering, perhaps it's time to start treasuring those who are closer to my heart.

You can NEVER catch back your years.

Anyway, i'm still young!

To end off,

What makes a person at the end of the day,
is not what he had already done,
but his character defining who he is.

For Honour and Glory

2007-10-01T00:13:00.001+08:00

Majority of my good friends flew overseas

It's pretty much quiet lately...

It's finding new ones again

bye

2007-09-29T21:51:00.001+08:00

we were soldiers

I've been thinking but i'm quiet inside,
nowhere to run, nowhere to hide
Is it purpose or focus,
or a sudden splurge or surge?

Every harden soul is the making of a stronger heart
Take heart, i cannot fall
yet i am only man to be caught in the arms of God

Unless i am first frail,
then can He prove strong.
Unless i'm second to my world,
then can He be my all...

Past glories passes,
there can only be today's.
The only easy day was yesterday,
let today be the easy day for tomorrow's glory

It was moment ago we had our pri sch best friend reunion

remembering our old times n remaining old pals

till i finally bid you farewell...

Good bye my friend...

n those who all left as well

2007-09-19T16:22:00.001+08:00

My beloved Pri Sch buddies

We had memories. Filled with much joy and thoughts. We grew up and they were my best. I knew them since i was 7. I've known them for 15 years. We've gotten many Gold medals and trophies for inter-school rope skipping competitions and mini-tennis. None of this achieved without dedication since being friends.

15 years and we're back. One Naval Officer, one working in insurance and the other media in SPH. Ming Jie is heading back UK for studies but will be back.

I have a mission now.

The Gospel must reach them.

Lord, let's Go.

Practise what we preach

2007-09-19T16:08:00.000+08:00

DO WE LOVE THE LAW?

or are we ignorant of such? Does it serve to mirror our lives, or have our 'graced' generation been ignorant?

The WAGES of SIN is nothing but pure DEATH. The people had to ask Mosses to relay their messages between God in fear of losing their lives. There is no big Sins or small ones, even a speck would cause you DEATH.

How then can we appreciate the grace of God w/o first loving the commandments?!

Do you lie? White lie, grey lies black lies they all make you a liar.
Do you steal? That makes you a thieve.
Do you use the Lord's name loosely? That makes you a blasphemer.
So we are insane lairs who steals and blasphemy against His holy name.
With these, do you think we're going Heaven or Hell?
We know that day of judgment will come when we stand before a righteous God.

WHAT are we gonna tell Him?

why are you laughing? i'm talking about You.

Fight on

2007-09-12T12:30:00.000+08:00

There are many times, challenges along the way gets in yours. Many times we say, quit it. Yet, our spirit says never. I dug out a few photos, remembering the many battles that were fought. In different lands, different spaces, we remained the same-undaunted. We can't change our values although the environment did. We adapted to the changes but stood strong inside. There were many valuable lessons picked up through the mud fields and pits.

There were forces backing me up. I had the assurance of my comrades and buddies. Brothers back in homeland whom i share my nights with, bathed with and prayed with. Those journey formed a power and dynamism, something beyond what theories or science could formulate. It surpasses the 'i' and formed the very 'us' in those whom i trusted, commencing every last efforts and energy for the man in line, who trusted my planning, who believed in my calling.

...and when the war cry resounds in the air, every voice of every deserving men charged with every of their might...

48hrs into mission w/o sleep...
enemy sighted. range in, this is their disposition. No chances we're leaving our enemies fried, i want them charcoaled.

dis is it. my call, we're going in.

Chaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrge! Take them out! I say again, TAKE THEM OUT!!!

I know it's insane. Yet, there were many values to take back.

We are not psychologically unsound. We train our mind to focus and concentrate, allowing the full blown control over ourselves. The same would go for my kids. We may seemed intense but we train them to listen so that they may determine their actions accordingly(and eliminate the error due to carelessness) and be self-controlled. We're all humans and you know how sluggish we can be. Unless you first purpose in your heart who you wanna be, then i say there are no plans for accomplishment. Of course we allow the Holy Spirit to take His control too!

As Senior Pastor goes into the book of Revelations, my heart is quickened and i've said over and again if we're with the church, believes in this God, then it MUST live in us. The time is near and its important we start to understand what is our CORE and then branch out to our work! Let your hearts be quickened!

The enemy is out there already. Many small 'anti-christ' rising. The ultimate has yet to come. Akan datang - Coming soon. HELLO!? Ready for battle not? Weapons clean already not? Ammunitions ready or not? Soldiers ready or not? Orders ready or not? Button pressed ready to move out?!

How then can we not be quickened if we know our enemies are approaching and our time is limited?

2007-09-11T23:33:00.000+08:00

Some random photos taken previously... good to review them tho'... enjoy!..

Niceeeee? @ Billy Bombers

@ Taka Coffee Club

Along came kush kush

telematch @ sentosa

ur very me

Evans Almighty

2007-08-23T02:30:00.000+08:00

If you guys haven't catch Evans Almighty, do check it out when it premiers on the 30th August 2007.

Well, it's a hilarious comedy with a lesson on Noah's Ark. My heart was impressed with how majestic God can be with His intent and how God can actually be so close to us. Of all, the show also teaches about obedience and with all the twists here n there, it's a two thumbs up from me! Anyway, i was touched in a special way from the movie cos God just have something to teach us about the Ark =).

I'll share some solid lessons i learned and already applying in my life. Amazing ain't it? Christian lesson from a comedy movie yo!

Now who says Christianity is boring with a God like that?

INSANE!

John Flying Overseas to New York

2007-08-22T01:44:00.000+08:00

John is flying back to States, New York to carrying on his architectural studies. It's gonna be a good 4 years and till then, who knows what happens. Surely i will miss him. Shall Fabian fly back to the States as well, then I'll have lesser "Ang Mo" friends around.

I got Char along for the farewell dinner on Monday. We had Italian rice with mushrooms, long beans with some nuts, beef stew, Choc Lava(superbly sinful and will wait for the day for Char to make for me and share with you guys..) and Longan. Did i tell you all those were cooked by John alone? It pays to be an overseas grad. Perhaps I'd realize it one day...

Char had cramps lately. I hope she's feeling much better...Gave her some painkillers n warm water during the dinner =). Oh, we had a cool bottle of apple juice as well. Hanging out with this bunch of "every meet up got new faces to say hi to" was kinda a classy thing. Not too used to it having wine(didn't drink tho') and jazz/broadway music over dinner. Maybe or just perhaps, I'm opening my world...

Yep, n highly sociable.

I'm glad char enjoyed herself too. We had interesting conversations like seasons over at Vancouver, lifestyles and cultures. There were mission trips as well, not forgetting some war literatures our newly met friends were well-versed after. Man, what world was i living in?

Hurt corners in silence

Wild At Heart

2007-08-18T02:15:00.000+08:00

I am reading this book that one of my buddy, John Lim gave me on my birthday-Wild at Heart. I ain't much of a reader, actually. I read, anyway.

John knew there was something really inside me when we met, everyone knew i was insane at what i do, often too energetic to even slow down! However, he kinda knew me personally and bought the book because he knew that inside me was a world i battle alone.

Then when i read a few pages, i understood why he got this very book. This dear friend believed in me. Ah...I love John too. There is something i can offer, that adventure to live. That Wild Heart to fire up for God, my life and the people hanging around me...and that i shouldn't hold back my possibilities.

Through this author John Eldredge, i stepped into another world i never knew was so magical and i dared to dream again...

Synopsis
EVERY MAN WAS ONCE A BOY. And every little boy has dreams, big dreams: dreams of being the hero, of beating the bad guys, of doing daring feats and rescuing the damsel in distress. Every little girl has dreams, too: of being rescued by her prince and swept up in to a great adventure, knowing that she is the beauty.

But what happens to those dreams when we grow up? Walk into most churches, have a look around, and ask yourself: What is a Christian man? Without listening to what is said, look at what you find there. Most Christian men are...bored.

In Wild at Heart, John Eldredge invites men to recover their masculine heart, defined in the image of a passionate God. And he invites women to discover the secre of a man's sould and to delight in the strength and wildness men were made to offer.

Page 11:
I gaze into boyhood, i search the pages of literature, i listen carefully to many, many men, and i am convinced these desires are universal, a clue into masculinity itself. They may be misplaced, forgotten, or misdirected, but in the heart of every man is a desperate desire for a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue.

Page 13:
The universal nature of this ought to have convinced us by now: The boy is a warrior; the boy is his name. And those are not boyish antics he is doing. When boys play at war they are rehearsing their part in a much bigger drama. One day, you just might need that boy to defend you.

Those Union soldiers who charged the stone walls at Bloody Angle; the Allied troops that hit the beaches at NOrmandy or the sands of Iwo Jima - what would they have done without this deep part of their heart? Life needs a man to be fierce - and fiercely devoted. The wounds he will take throughout his life will cause him to lose heart if all he has been trained to be is soft. This is especially true in the murky waters of relationships, where a man feels least prepared to advance. As Bly says, "In every relationship something fierce is needed once in a while."

...

Page 14:
Flying Tigers, The Bridge on the River Kwai, The Magnificent Seven, Shame, High Noon, Saving Private Ryan, Top Gun, the Die Hard films, Gladiator - the movies a man loves reveal what his heart longs for, what is really inside him from the day of his birth.

Like it or not, there is something fierce in the heart of every man.

Did i tell you how much i love the book?
I'm reading!
(i read the Bible too, of course!)

-Wild at Heart
Discovering the secret of a Man's soul

ITB

2007-08-18T02:03:00.000+08:00

The term “runner’s knee” refers to an inflammation of the tendon, the (ITB), that is located on the outside of the thigh. As injury to this tendon often results from overuse of the knees, and runner’s rely on their knees to function within their sport, the title “runner’s knee” is quite appropriate. The name is, however, deceptively exclusive as runner’s knee describes an ailment common among individuals who are active in a spectrum of activities such as biking, walking, or jumping.

As mentioned above, the inflammation of the ITB can be a result of overuse or overstretching of the tendon in any activity that requires repeated knee bending. Misalignment is also a factor in the injury. If a bone is out of it’s correct position, then the excess stress being placed elsewhere can result in the pulling and inflammation of the ITB. The tendon can also undergo stress because of weak thigh muscles or a direct injury to the knee such as a fall or a blow. Runners with flat feet, or fallen arches, often have knee problems as the ITB is forced to stretch in order to compensate for the missing arch.

According to the experts at WebMD, some of the symptoms connected to runner’s knee are:

* Pain in the area of the kneecap, specifically where the thigh and the kneecap connect
* Pain when bending the knee in such activities as walking, squatting, running or biking
* Pain the elevates when walking on an incline such as stairs or hills
* Swelling on or around the knee
* A popping or grinding sensation in the knee

There are several strategies that can work both as preemptive and healing measures against injury to the ITB.

R.I.C.E: No, this is not a diet recommendation, but rather an acronym for a recommended healing plan. The letters stand for rest, ice, compression, and elevation and serve as a great way to combat swelling of the knee.

Medication: An anti-inflammatory medication such as ibuprofen or as prescribed by your doctor is also a great way to reduce swelling. Medication should, however, be used only as a supplement to other forms of treatment in order to achieve total recovery.

Stretch: Stretching is a great way to maintain strength and flexibility and will support both prevention and healing from injury to the ITB.

Quality running gear: It’s important not to sacrifice your health for a cheap shoe, so make sure your shoes provide enough support. The gear and apparel section of TFS is a great resource for tips as to what shoes offer the best support. It’s also important, if you have a history of knee injury to wear a knee brace when involved in any physical activity and, if you have fallen arches, to wear orthotics.

Because most people who deal with runner’s knee live very active lifestyles, it can be tempting to push the injury to the limit. While it is an unwelcome interruption, it’s important to allow the ITB to heal before returning to your exercise regimen. It’s imperative, whether or not you are injured, to be patient with yourself, be in tune with your body, and take measures that respect your health.

-The Final Sprint

pain

2007-08-17T01:53:00.000+08:00

There is something wrong with my right knee.

n it's not funny cos i have a half marathon to run.

My knees must start working together, both of them!

hitting the pills for now...Lord help!

2007-08-14T16:32:00.000+08:00

Since ORD-ed, i decided to reject work and not start any. $ mattered but I've long planned to do what i wanted long ago - being at home. NS has gotten loads of time out of my two years and those sacrifices took me away from family and doing my own stuff. I paid my due and promised i'd give me back to myself.

E same vicious cycle came rolling. The art of uncertainty.

My trouble is this-not doing what people are doing. Everyone is heading for the papers, doing stuff when i ask why, all they could answer was "i don't know". Is this a norm? I know it's important for that survival locally but is it just it?

When i was running with this senior just the other Saturday, i told him how i hated to go somewhere and do something not knowing what and not. The envy of peers entering local Unis bites in. Hadn't done enough for the past but it's bygone. I've sunk in. Yet many had the choice but seemed not knowing what to do with it.

Even if i applied for SIM, those same coloured shades follows. When they go "why not NUS, NTU or SMU?", all i could offer was silence. No longer can i continue to ramble at myself for a past i wish to lay down.

Perhaps i could make SIM proud one day. Perhaps i could make my family live a little better one day. Perhaps, i'll make my mark to be somebody one day.

That's because i had a past to push my present for the future.

Perhaps the bitterness will turn into strength.

There are many things I'm still good for.

Lest, I'm still the good boy at home...

Running

2007-08-11T15:07:00.000+08:00

Discipline.

It's gonna be my word for these coming few weeks.

Army Half Marathon coming up in two weeks time. 21km. I force myself to train cos i know the scientific system working in the body that wing commander used to teach us. If i don't? i'm letting him down.

Yes, i'm running for the formation. Although my group of officers on course said that i have an identity crisis, i don't mind being green myself running for the reds. It ain't gonna be about just the vocations, it's about the people, friendships that i've made throughout. Of course, the many treacherous work that pushed me beyond my limits and allowing me to learn from many senior officers.

Let it be done. 26th August the sunday would be a victorious day. Gotta set the sight on and feel the pressure. Knees will hurt, feet will scorch from heat with contact from the distance, heart will pump excessively and arms will sore from the swings. Apart from all these distraction, one focus-finish the race. Got it.

Next up would be 5Bx every morning i wake up and buff up. Someone said i lost weight and shrunk. Maybe. I wanna gain back those disciplines. Mind you, it's tough but no one will say its impossible.

Let's go, kid. Keep up the pace.

business

2007-08-11T14:57:00.000+08:00

Woke up 0600 hrs today. Had a run with one of my Lt Colonel. It was a great and enduring run for his age but he presses on like anything. In that hour, we talked like anything w/o any age gap. I was recognized by him for my enthusiasm for business and entrepreneurship. He would love to have me to join him and others stakeholders into their business and i was surprised why me...

It's about my mindset and the difference he found in me. I wasn't normal, for sure. All these time of identity thingy finally paid off. Why would i want to be whom people wanted me to be? If i'm dynamic, let me be. If i'm outspoken, let me be. If i have balls of energy that cannot be quenched, it is me.

So we talked and discussed and i'm willing to take this further. Ain't knowing how far this could go but going back to school for studies, acquiring skills, networking and internship could actually help me with this business if i'm going in. My purpose is kinda clear but there's always the no.1 thing on my mind...

God's business.

So it's all gonna be really busy.

Kyle XY

2007-08-11T01:09:00.000+08:00

People try to tell us who we're meant to be but it's up to us to decide whether or not the label fits. After everything i've done to fight it, i finally understood the label i was meant to have.

I would never be normal or ordinary, my destiny was to be extraordinary. This is the label i've accepted...now it's my responsibility to earn it.

-Kyle XY

Char's Love

2007-08-03T15:39:00.000+08:00

Wednesday Afternoon. 01 Aug 2007

i struck with a temperature in the afternoon. Apart from all the cold shivers i had, the suffered body was driven to lay on the floor. Even with my uniform on, the additional two couldn't make any difference. With a body shaking, i pushed myself to having my clothes changed and headed for Bedok poly clinic.

The pain rose to suffer my bones. The agony of temperature and excruciating cartilage saps every of last energy i had. I took every step cautiously to the healing center, the world past me but no one knew.

My temperature: 38 degrees

Wednesday Night. 01 August 2007

I could have died. My brains were scorched. My limbs were rooted to the bed. I could no longer lift up the tiniest pinky finger. i was lamed. The fantasy that took me around made me realized i was part of the FANTASTIC FOUR guy. I thought i could "FLAME ON" with my fingers-I did try-that's really terrible. The brain wasn't mine, i though i could be Einstein. I'm not kidding. I was uttering rubbish and hallucinating.

A little more love came in when my parents took over. They were in-charged. Now, my body was back to theirs and they sprung into action. The towels, the fans, the blankets etc. They knew what to do. All i could do was to imagine i could live another day. I kept thinking i needed a drip then i fell asleep. When i woke up, the pain caused me to think about the drip again. These thoughts addicted me deeper, harder.

More love poured when char called and showed concern. As i laid sideways on the phone, the heat stricken hot tears down my cheeks and drowned the microphone. I thought i would just lay till my eyes open no more. Nowhere to seek help, i got her to pray for me. That moment, the angels were passing by...

Then i sincerely prayed inside....

The peace that transcends all understanding dawn. Nobody could except Him. Powerless i was, He stood Powerful. Exhausted i was, He proved strength. Darkness i was in, He showed light. Plain Zero, He was my HERO.

N i felt better in the little corner of my heart.

The battle continues. The cost was worth a higher stake...

My temperature: 40.3 degrees

Thursday Evening. 02 August 2007

No solid food still. I'd puke if anything goes in. Temperature still up on the 38.5. Doesn't sound good but much better. Or was i right? <3 style="font-weight: bold;">Friday Morning. 03 August 2007

I was delivered. Fever went down and I'm back to my normal temperature. Just that my throat still lingers the pain from a swollen tonsil. Well, at least the battle was well fought. Throughout this ordeal, its been tough and i've certainly learn something out of it...

Don't proclaim or speak of anything negative.

You'll be fine with lots of love. God can offers lots and people too!

My temperature: 37.2

My normal temperature: 36.8

I'm getting there!...

Tonsillitis

2007-08-03T15:26:00.000+08:00

Thank God for internet. Now it's so much easier to explain things to people, without myself explaining first. Please do know there are people like ME who needs your prayer whenever i sound out TONSILLITIS! Apart from the TITANIUM (known as Thalassemia minor) blood running through my dad, yanda and myself, i'm pretty much prone to to below mentioned. The picture used are for the faint hearted. Not for the faint hearted, please log on to www.google.com or www.yahoo.com and under "images" tab, type TONSILLITIS.

Tonsillitis

Tonsillitis is an infection of the tonsils at the back of the mouth. A sore throat is the common symptom. In addition, you may also have a cough, fever, headache, feel sick, feel tired, painful swallowing, and swollen neck glands. Pus may appear as white spots on the enlarged tonsils. Symptoms typically get worse over 2 to 3 days and then gradually go, usually within a week

What is the treatment for tonsillitis?

Not treating is an option as many tonsil infections are mild and soon get better
Have plenty to drink. It is tempting not to drink very much if it is painful to swallow. You may become mildly dehydrated if you don't drink much, particularly if you also have a fever. Mild dehydration can make headaches and tiredness much worse
Paracetamol or ibuprofen ease pain, headache, and fever. To keep symptoms to a minimum it is best to take a dose at regular intervals as recommended on the packet of medication rather than 'now and then'. For example, take paracetamol four times a day until symptoms ease
Aspirin gargles may ease the soreness. Dissolve some soluble aspirin in water and gargle for 3 to 4 minutes. You can do this 3 to 4 times a day. Spit out the aspirin after gargling. (You should not give aspirin to children under 16)
Other gargles, lozenges, and sprays that you can buy at pharmacies may help to soothe a sore throat. However, they do not shorten the illness. They tend to be expensive, and may do little extra to ease symptoms than the above measures

Do I need an antibiotic?
Usually not. Most bouts of tonsillitis are due to viruses, although some are due to bacteria. Without tests, it is usually not possible to tell if it is a viral or bacterial infection. Antibiotics kill bacteria, but do not kill viruses. However, an antibiotic is not thought to make much difference even if bacteria cause the tonsil infection. Your immune system usually clears throat and tonsil infections within a few days, whether caused by viruses or bacteria. Also, antibiotics can sometimes cause side-effects such as diarrhoea, rash, and stomach upsets. An antibiotic may be advised if the infection is severe, if it is not easing after a few days, or if your immune system is not working properly (for example, if you have had your spleen removed or if you are taking chemotherapy, etc)

Occasionally, tonsillitis is due to an uncommon cause such as glandular fever. See a doctor if symptoms are severe, or if they do not ease within 3 to 4 days

What about having my tonsils taken out?
Removing the tonsils (tonsillectomy) may be an option if you have frequent and severe bouts of tonsillitis. That is, five or more infections over a year. Also, when each infection is severe enough to affect normal life (such as needing time off work or studies). The value of tonsillectomy is uncertain - throat infections are not prevented if the tonsils are removed, however, for some people, the number and severity of throat infections may be reduced after tonsillectomy

Source: Adapted with permission from a © document supplied by EMIS and PIP

2007-07-30T17:34:00.001+08:00

Sometime ago, at Vivo Loca City... while we were shopping for my birthday gift...we,

went Godiva and thought the chocolates were not so expensive till we got 2 of them...

took insane photos while we waited for our train driver to arrive...

prayed when we were really tired...

ate cakes when our mouths were itchy..

fed one another but only i got really fed cos i was busy with the snap shots..

watched the lights above us in awe..

loved the retro mirrors..

loved the curtains...

found out that the chairs were almost transparent we wondered where the seats were...

and we were made happy that entire dae...tho' we din't get any shoes tt evening!

2007-07-30T17:26:00.001+08:00

the 2nd round of bdae celeb with my camp staff and poly friends..

lighting candles..the second time!..

sponsorship of food from my parents ...

kenneth, myself, jinn hui and samuel..

Manz, i look dark.. frm left to right, sze min, ellen, cindy, jinny and jackson..those were the days when this grp had soooo much fun at Nanyang Poly...

2007-07-30T17:20:00.001+08:00

double date buddies..

choirites and 1 salome

good mix of everyone whom char painstakingly co-ord for a wonderful 22nd bdae..

Pastor Sam made his presence too! n interestingly, played "hai dai" with a crazy bunch of us..

group of girlz..like one teacher with many kids..=D

2007-07-30T16:45:00.001+08:00

"oh! my head got kutu!" says agnes. "dun worry, its been for years" proclaimed XX...

The Chia family...

the Chia brothers...

sweetie and <3 with a lovely cake she's selected...

all lost with too many cameras..

2007-07-30T16:19:00.000+08:00

xx, char, agnes, moi, rachel, wei xiong, lq...

glorious food! 03 x fried rice from greg, 01 x mashed potato salad from jia, fruits from john, curry chic from char's mum, n did i leave anyone out?

okie, wads up with the mix?

all into Taboo!

Tabooist and anti-Tabooist...

2007-07-25T20:16:00.000+08:00

First of all, may i direct all attention to a very important person-

Ms Charity Tan!

I cannot express anything more than what i am grateful to this girl for in the birthday party planned out for me on the 14th July 07! I am totally shocked at what a girl is capable of, what more, my very own sweetie!

My jaw dropped like anything when i stepped into the house that evening. When the sparklers went off and she came passing me the cake, i cannot control that moment of truth. Alright alright, no pride here yo. Yes, one drop of tear rolled down cos i really cannot control it! The best thing is, Char planned it soooooooo soooooooooo sooooooooooo well i had all my friends complementing her for the hard work!

Charity Tan, i just wanna say how pretty sweet you are and how insanely i'm touched inside because of your self-less love! u know what? till date, i'm still standing amazed at her organizing skills and her social ability to link up with everyone! Even my Army buddies came!

I shall do a short intro here. More pictures to be uploaded soon! Stay tuned!

My star! Introducing the outstanding girlfriend award to........Charity Tan!

This photo is weird. Is Lq in a weird position or the party hat? Opps, rachel got left out...

The middle guy is the youngest! Thanks! Presenting, Joel and Johnathan!

xx n agnes! insane double date partners with char n myself!

the hat was one of the main thing tt night. n <3 is just so funny to keep getting the hat on my head! so, the party hat made me handsome, right <3?

to be cont'.... (gd way to get u guys coming back my blog...i'll become famous one dae! thanks to Char!)

another chapter

2007-07-13T13:01:00.000+08:00

another chapter of my life would be close soon...

yes, i'd devote my time to missing it...

it took 1 year 10 months to build a boy to a young man..

to hold responsibilities in life he's never been exposed before...

i am a son, a brother, a bf, a friend, an officer, a spiritual leader,

yet, i'm never satisfied with my surroundings,

i thrist to learn, hungry for knowledge and build my life with value so close to my heart...

To Lead, To Excel and to To Overcome

here am i, send me

2007-07-10T01:59:00.001+08:00

The Spirit hit me today.

Church, is the word speaking to you or are you not listening?

are you choosing?

where art thou passion and yearning for the word?

are the messages too plain for you?

is it the pastor or the word that you took abundant joy from?

what are your answers?

what is this church to you?

y bother telling your purpose when you're not even seeking?

y fill your thirst when you're not even thirsty?

y touching your life when you're turning away?

y sharing with you but you never wanted to listen?

or even for the matter, choose what you delight to hear?

our walk was never easy.

Jesus's walk was NEVER easy because He knew He'd be walking to THAT cross.

Mind you.

Week in, week out, where do you place your heart?

where do you centralise your love?

are sundays just it?

where is the song deep within?

it doesn't how much we do anymore.

is there anything you even desire?

My heart breaks O Lord, it breaks...

Came last Sunday, i served on stage. It's the similar protocol, we knew what we needed to do...but worship wasn't worship until i decided to surrender...then i poured. i raised my hands n heart before my instruments, i sang with the lead of our worship leader,

"...just to stand beside You knowing, promise that You're never leaving..."

i stood dumb. i was amazed. i was blown. i choked. i broke. yes. on stage while serving. no total gimmicks.

it was just like God saying to me, "child, i'm here. can you feel me? can you find me?"...

i cried. i can't bear singing. "i said, Yes".

ISA 6:8 then i heard a voice from the Lord saying, whom shall i send? and who will fight for us? then i said,

Here I Am, Send Me

It was the commissioning of Issiah.

It is my commissioning.

birthday

2007-07-04T17:55:00.000+08:00

its coming. n i'm still trying to find the true meaning of birthdays...

Why?

2007-06-29T00:57:00.001+08:00

Sometimes i wonder, should ourselves benefit or benefit others.

Am i to bless or be blessed?

Should i receive or give?

Sometimes, that burden of the Cross can be rather heavy to carry...

WWJD-What Would Jesus Do?

He gave himself. entire self.

What about my ambitions? is it ever fair Lord?

would Jesus ever say to us, "is it fair to Me then?"

No Lord, You wouldn't... cos we are Your passion and desire Lord.

the same, yesterday, today and forever...

then i am ashamed. so so ashamed.

Lord, i lay them all down at Your Cross.

...take it, i pray....

insanity

2007-06-25T07:50:00.000+08:00

Ever since i came back camp from Company Tactics Course in SAFTI, work continues to kill me and there was no break, neither rest.

Then came the prep for musicians/choir retreat and execution which almost killed me too with < 2 hrs of sleep for 3 nights. However, i had no regrets, no complains, but i'm ill treating my body a lil way too much..i'm accumulating sleep debt, therefore, losing some attention and focus.

i was told i dozed off during one of the worship during the retreat w/o remembering anything. I laughed off like mad when i heard from ling quan and others. madness. whatever it is, the first night worship was fantastic. i can't stop to tell the story that when lq prayed for me, i was so touched and he teared for me. Came my turn to pray for him and i teared for him. insane!

the workshop was fantastic. Tho' it was watching dvd, we brainstormed our weaknesses and agreed to improve our worship! now, that was real training. after all the praying and higher intent from our two youth pastors, seems like the spirit is moving and things are improving. I won't be surprised when the waves of blessing comes through soon...

and God will heal our land - His speedlight.

Almost insane

2007-06-25T07:15:00.000+08:00

oooooooooo...we just celebrated our first anniversary together! 23 june 07 marks our first. It's been such a journey. Will upload some photos much later.

Basically, we went to sentosa and got a wonderful tan-while tanning away, we dozed off..so, we gotten some rest plus a tan. cool. then, we rushed to wait for showers. the ratio of showers:people is like 3:8? insane!

Afterwhich, took babe for a manicure and made her pretty before our dinner at "Royal Plaza on Scotts". what a name! -_-". i should name myself-Alvin Chia on Army. It was the first hotel to pride 100% smoke free hotel. ooooooo..right. it was like advertise all over e flat screens! Was a lil anxious when we were running a lil late, cos 1st anniversary, din wanna screw it up. So i called up the hotel and pushed the dinner buffet later..can u imagine if they gave up our seats then we stood waiting?! Any dinner its okie, bt for such a event better set some standard..haha..insanity!..

so we had our dinner and babe enjoyed the food! we ended up with lots of laughter and stuff-non stop! it's all crazy..i tried almost tasteless seafood, she said i was damn adventurous..all the scallop, mussels, prawns, crab, sweet dunno what and etc..whenever i tried one, i gave a spastic face..cos the food was drastic..its either i put too much lemon, or the tobasco overload. haha..then the worse thing, babe told me much later, they were available cooked.

-_-"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""'. i almost concussed.

then, we exchanged our prezzies. She made a cookie jar for moi, i gave her a pair of rings for us.=). simple stuff made us happie. the significance was this-i mentioned about no ring, babe asked y..i say, when the time is right, i'll propose the ring. but the ring ain't for marriage, to indicate our attachment. so, i waited and held the impulse till this time. which was right. Therefore, our r/s is controlled and in good pace. Ain't no rush. =)

Then, it was a long drive back home so she slept in the car like a baby..=)=)=) e long drive sapped my attention and energy like anything..but still, i love driving..

finally, we ended the day with a sweet call when we greeting goodnight...

i am serious

2007-06-06T00:28:00.000+08:00

Moments from the field...

Commanding command

my serious side...

Recently i received very good coaching from my senior commanders on my mission and on the less serious note, he realized i fidget alot. Was at the pool side with Ivan, Hairul, Jonathan, Fabian and John. We had a interesting n reflective talk and had a serious feedback session and appraisal of every individual. I appreciated that session, cos everyone took back their strengths and weaknesses that were pin-pointed to the core. It certainly caused us to look at ourselves differently and sink in the most honest feedback. Such would really push us a journey forward.

Apart from strengths, one takeback was that i'm totally full of energy and in so being influence people to push on with lots of dynamic drive. However, it could be a double-edged sword. There was a need for me to level down to be sensitive and suit certain group of people who can't match up.

I agreed becos their feedbacks were very well conveyed and that honesty was insane! so every one of us whom we called friends and brothers were grilled and glorified. To only finally realise, all of us had dark fears of which we wld have never spoken. Some were fearful to fail, some can't fail at all and took it too hard upon themselves. That was when i knew we had dark corners.

It was a good session and i thought that tool could be used effectively.

To those who really think i'm only insane, i am too, serious.

No joke.

Darling is coming back!

2007-06-06T00:15:00.000+08:00

Finally, babe is coming back from her hols!

Manz, i missed her like crazy. During the toughest time, God was there for me and she was the motivation in my mind...

and i can't wait to see her!

2007-06-04T06:23:00.000+08:00

A Saturday at the Green Botannical Gardens...

By e waterfalls...

Blue skies n nice dress!

Winding path...

Forging ahead...i mean, looking forward to swan lake..

what if she falls?

mayb babe shld hav sat on the swing...

haha...so cute ritez?

sleepy sleepy...

gal preparing e food galore..

its so amazing to c this statue in the park..so natural..

back @ hm, we prepared many grapes n 1 apple, fishstrips, crackers, bread n tuna..promoting green n healthy lifestyle!

she loves reading books..im the total opposite

Grassy grazzy!

then we rested and starred into the blue skies n greenery

at first, swan lake wasn't it w/o e swan. so i laughed @ babe. n 2 swans appeared. n i was laughed at instead

least i picked up a book and followed babe..

DON'T EAT THE ALGAE!

the following few flowers u c are all tiny yo! we have yellow here...

pink here...

mixed of beautiful stars...

and something confusing i cannot identify...

i wldn't regret taking this as a wedding photo...:) :) :)

becos i read, i stalled.

double dates @ minds cafe with Xx and Agnes

Basically, babe had a plan to visit the botannic gardens which turned out to be a great success. Hardly have the time to spend with darling gal and saturday(26/05) seems like the only good time for an outing since i started to get real busy when my course commenced. Both of us waited real long for such a time as this!

Morn we had our breakfast at Kiliney. Rebus for e pretty and lemak for your very me.

Afternoon, enjoyed a/c @ Fairprice and got our prep eateries.

Bus-ed down town n transited cab to insert into objective.

The weather was fantastic with frequent cooling wind. The food 'galore' we prepared was just nice with extras for me! I must say, it was babe who cut and took out the seeds from the grapes. Good job! Of course, i did my share to prepare the rest as well...

Evening was double date with Xx and Agnes @ Minds. All of us were rather close in character. We laughed on top of our hearts n voice for the retardedness and stupidity of humanity! Its totally insane with them! Totally comfortable, no formalities, no acts needed, its just totally being ourselves! i feel so free manz! Had a total good time laughin n jokin with darlin char.

Afterwhich we're done, all of us headed down to Timbre to support Bani's (our close sword-of-honour friend back in OCS) band...98FM was there, his band was rockin e hse with contemp n soul music! dude, u guys rock! Quite a few of our guys went down, Michael, Reuben, Daryl, John, Fabian and caught up with one of my sec sch female scholar! what a world! Didn't had a drink tt night, just went to support Bani and we went off after an hour. By then, babe n i was totally sleepy.

What a tiring but fufilling day. One good Saturday spent. I look forward to another with ya babe.

phantom

2007-06-01T02:48:00.000+08:00

Back-dated entry. Couldn't believe it was delayed for so long. It's finally here.

28 Apr 2007. Esplanade.
Arranged for the event and show quite some time back. Decided to watch the Opera with deary and both of us started saving to make it happen. Therefore, managed to get the tickets online and got real good seats but the date was slightly towards the ending dates of the troop here in Singapore.

Until we got into the theatre, then realized i was sooooo snooked. I din't realize it was such a side and flank seat. Though we were totally near the stage, i almost freaked out. Deary teared and i sense the intense disappointment. Decided to grab her hands quickly then. It sucked. I felt the total same way cos we made so much arrangements to only end up being terrible.

We took some time to settle down our hearts and started praying. The decision was made that we ought to be thankful to God for wherever we sat because we ain't wanting to leave the place in bitterness. During the break, we prayed and agreed we'll totally enjoy ourselves. True enough, hearts and mindset were mended and God totally changed the mood.

We appreciated the angle where we sat cos the character came out mostly from the right. Being so near the stage, we managed to come up close to the professional touch of the costumes and facial expressions of the singers. Blown-away!

I took time to reflect how i ain't aware of arts scene in Singapore. The interest grew and i realized my growth in such sector and arts appreciation. Apart from the Opera itself, i enjoyed God's presence and the company of my love.

Here are some photos of sweet victory in Christ of a r/s. The beauty of learning how to build another up, tolerance and mutual respect for another played it's importance. There are lot more challanges for us to face-every smile on our face is a strong story behind.

Deary, you make a difference that night. We could have left empty handed but we received much more. You'll sing beautifully like Christine and tho' i may not have wonderful voice of the lead, let me remain the Raoul in you...

"Let me be your freedom, let daylight dry -your tears. I'm here, with you, beside you, to guard you and to guide you ..."

No casts? but a lady was kind enough to lend us batteries for this shot!

You had chicken, i had lamb... You had fruit punch i had expresso!

ummm...yummy ritez?

The LoVe of Food 'GaLoRe'

Prior to the show, we had our share of romance under the blanket of stars...

City of lights and love of the night!

dream a lil dream of me...

youmeus!

Keeping it strong...

bayonet

2007-05-05T01:07:00.000+08:00

one slick shot of the bayonet right into the throat.

Stuck in right in, twist it, tug in deeper.

Leave ur enemy maimed. Leave him speechless.

In the face of your enemy, strike him, strike it hard.

Leave no room for return.

Dare.

the day granpa died

2007-04-28T00:41:00.000+08:00

2 weeks.

it was the time past since my maternal Grandpa died.

The declaration announced on Saturday night. He was pronounced dead.

D-E-A-D.

The similar moment took my soul away. It was the same way i watched my paternal Grandpa passed away. One at the community home, the other right at home.

He died.

There wasn't a need to say anything more. What could necessary be done would be when he was still alive. The next was obsolete. i reached out for his body, took his hands, touched his chest and felt his forehead. He was already turning cold, less the brain and the heart areas where his organs began to fail.

He left a body, cold behind. That body was useless. It ain't moving. The breathe of God wasn't present anymore. It laid lifeless. Grandpa couldn't have done anything.

Life is short.

That showed me how drastic living people were. What a pathetic life we're living. Do we live for a meaning? OR simply breathe for the living? A heart warmed body like ours while useful are we making gd use of it? OR do we want it cold before we realise it's too late to do anything?

I'll make it a point to hug my loved ones from now on when i have the chance to. My parents, my bro, my baby, my community. While we still breathe, Love.

What grievance can you not release and what sins can you not forgive until you see your loved ones or friends past away before your very eyes? Must there be a closure before one can close his case?

Insanity.

As he thought he could enjoy his life with the family, cancer struck. One entire year of suffering before his eyes could finally shut forever. I told da that grandpa's suffering finally came to an end but to my spirit, it only just began. His salvation was lost. I almost lost myself in that moment. I held my tears, restraint my emotions. There wasn't anything i could have done then, even if i could was when he still breathes.

I blamed myself. Couldn't have told anyone how i felt. It was ironic. i felt the pain inside but i simply numb it.

Strong everywhere is strength nowhere.

To the living, live on.

outing

2007-04-23T06:11:00.000+08:00

After two weeks of course, finally got the chance to be out with darling girl.

Went to east coast to admire the stars with the love bread that gal prepared...ham and all! thanks gal!

Went out to marina square the following day and recce out a new place to eat! she had salmon spag and i had baked pasta with rice. I tell you, the food is tasty and with a fantastic rich taste! although out time together was really short, i guess its a time well spent!

remember our date for phantom of the opera this coming sat k dear?

Be missing you while i'm back on course!

Loving you!...

Leadership

2007-04-11T01:55:00.000+08:00

This week commences the start of Company Tactics Course. It started off with leadership package and lots of skills comprising it. Took time out to catch up with baby girl to see if everything is going alright.

I can't wait to share and derive some models for our leaders to adopt. Yes, i am totally enthusiastic. Leadership is amazing. I've gone through the package before and its the second time with added materials. Tho' its a drop bomb knowledge and instigation, it certainly left me with inspirations i could channel it to our leaders.

From Learning Principle Leadership to Practising It

Leadership is about learning principles and making it practical and application to their nature of job and daily challenges. Priciples and models assist them in making decisions and a leader would have to choose the best fit for his situation. Knowledge claims credibitlity in leadership and none can say a leader is speaking without basis.

In the Bible we read, "faith without work is dead". Having that trust in the chosen model does not prove anything. A leader must be willing to try the model out and see if it works. Any men or member could throw in the towels and say, "this won't work at all dude. give it up, on yourself and on us". That WON'T work out for a leader. He/She shouldn't take it as final as of yet. If he deems fit and follow through with his guiding priciples and values, see if it could impact further. If not, choose another one and make it best fit. A member or easy going person will conveniently put a period and full-stop to a problem. Leaders don't see problems, they see challengers.

Understanding the mental model and the ladder of inference helps you to analyze how a person is thinking and constructive communication and criticism is very much welcome. Americans are very good at this and Asians ought to speak up and dare to communicate. The art of questioning and analysis gives a leader an edge. Being a leader, saying good is NOT enough. What is good? Generic answers are not good enough. Generic questioning is redundant.

Reflect the following questions we like to ask:

"how was your week?" - "ok lor", "good lor", "not bad lor"(generic questioning inspires generic answering! duh!~
"everybody doing ok?" - "yar", "sure", "same lor", "ok"(does it really matter?)

Try this:
"it is yet another week of which i believed everyone had different experiences. i didn't have a good one tho'(negative but words used positively. imagine "i had a bad one"-once you finished yours no one dares bring theirs up) but before you guys could get mine, let's randomly share what's jubilant and less smiley"

"what's up with that excitment?!(stirs energy) there must be some updates about our life! who cares to share first? I'll love to go first!"

Would you then get answers like before dude? Would your members still be quiet? if yes, be flexible and choose another model to best fit..Yo man! Where's the energy? Are you simply too old to be young? Communicate yo!

Therefore,

LEADERS SEE THE CONNECTIONS.

Inputs Derived from Corporate Strategy

There are 6 inputs as shown in the diagram but if you learn a lesson from the above, this is not a ultimate model. Unless it fits into your situation, if not, adjust and be flexible. We might not have all systems up, but hey, these are generic stuff to consider. In business, this works the same. Notice "team management, individual coaching". i deem this point valid and with great importance.

There are three basic kind of positions; Coach; Mentor; Counsellor. See, if we understand the true meaning of the above three positions, the word counsellor is often used loosely. A counsellor is certified and professional. We often go, "oie! go counsel your member leh..". Does that make anything or anyone credible?

Mentor is someone not directly under the same roof of your job but housed in the same place. Often, a mentor shares and speaks subjects apart from your job.

Coaching is the word. Coaching bring a person from point A to B. Using simple and guided skill, a coach often aids the coachee to develop himself by assisting him to understand himself and reach for an attainable goal agreed by both of them.

Leadership comprises guiding principles and individuals/corporate to anchor on their values. Values are measurement of the vision. Whenever you realise you're moving away from your vision, when in doubt, that is the time where your values will come to work. Since values ought to be anchored, to reach a decision fast and effective wouldn't take much of a time. It helps you eliminate the time to go round robin and ubin to search for "unfound" answers.

Therefore,

LOTS OF WORK TO DO.(don't worry, we'll get there)

Leadership: the leader always sets the trail for others to follow

Not everyone will follow a leader intially though. He is bound to face opposition-no matter how. A sound vision will set people moving. This is covered during Leaders Meet. Those who weren't there, manz, it's so important! VISION!

I'd like to quote some stuff i learnt of which will set you really thinking. The two points are relating to the mental model, ladder of influence and left hand column practices. I probably share more if you'd care to learn. You will find it wise and inspiring...

Insanity; doing the same thing over & over again and expecting different results. The world we live is a produtc of our thinking; it cannot be changed without changing our thinking.

-Albert Einstein

We share responsibility for creating the external world by projecting either a spirit of light or a spirit of shadow on that which is other than us. Either a spirit of hope or a spirit of despair. Either an inner confidence in wholeness and integration, or an inner terror about life being dieseased and ultimately terminal. We have a choice about what we are going to project and in that choice we help create the world that is, Consciousness Preceeds Being.

- Parker Palmer
"heading from within"

Honour to serve.

2007-04-08T03:30:00.000+08:00

Loving & Missing you...

Last Fri went blading with baby and rachel at East Coast.

Fantastic weather, great sun and sea!

Manz, am i surprised to know she can blade so well! Well done baby!

Taught them circling and these girls were good!

One of the weirdest thing we realized 1hr 45mins later was passing by almost every cyclist.

That means we were going rather fast. After much thought, the traffic was slow instead. haha..

Manz, fell twice. Got grazed on the arms and slighly scratched on the face. One incident i tipped while speeding and another, learning how to air lift.

Not embarassed tho'. Wasn't bothered by the peeps.

So, got up and resumed speed. Manz, wanna get race blades. $300-$500 range. too ex..loving the thrill..

After review did i realise baby din't even fell once! haha.. amazing for a girl manz! who knows one day ul be thrilling the speed with me!

The girls had one thing totally in common-to stop is to hug the tree or blade on grass. "Brakes" weren't in their dictionary...totally hilarious yo!

While blading, baby mentioned the blades were slanted to only realise she din't tighten her lower shin blade strap..haha..

its really fun..loads of fun..simple fun..next up would be canoeing! Guys! get active yo!

Its gd time away spending time away from work and camp. Gd breather and totally realized these few weeks that being responsible for work ain't the totally sum. The factors of fun, family, r/s, friends and fellowship plays a part too...alright, i'll spend less time at work yo..

Rachel was totally rushing while blading and walking...wanna "tou tai" yo?haha..

The following day would be the offical start of my course. I'm going in with God. Ain't going for any top..just wanna know my work well so my men in future during In-Camp Training won't suffer..Lord, Your advise please..

be missing you baby..

Fire

2007-04-05T16:54:00.000+08:00

People come and go, it's the good times we choose to savour that moment

Toungues are hot when in a heated situation.

We don't care how it feels, we often lose it.

Usually, learning how to communicate and converse was never an easy task.

Now i see why everywhere needs such capability.

Proper communication eliminates doubt, fears and uncertainty.

It helps one to acheive response, understanding and sense of direction.

It's difficult tho', i do not deny such ability to be of capability.

Expectation is a huge word.

To expect and be expected.

End of the day i guess, let's nv go to the extreme of expecting too much or neither expect.

Let's take it as we need to manage such.

Even when it's anger or disappointment, emotions need to be managed.

All of us have a need to. That helps us communicate better and enjoy every moment of speech.

To me, its lovely to just walk by the beach or cycle in the night of romance, talking just about everything, anything.

In love, in life, in camp, in church, everywhere takes communication.

Its a matter of how.

Observe and improve - each and everytime.

I do fail, my gosh, you sure expect i do! haha... n badly sometimes..

Who dares to claim to be a awesome boyfriend?

Not me...

Anyone?

2007-04-03T11:20:00.000+08:00

it always take two to love, to complete that that shape in our lives...

Enjoying every fond moments...

The time has come.

Next week i'll be gone, but never away from the church, brothers, friends and the one closest to my heart.

It's ok. I'll return in good shape.

The Lord will sustain His ministries and His love for the both of us.

In a short reflection, we've been holding the fort for more than the counts of the finger in one hand.

Yep, time certainly flies.

In every situation, there is always that choice to make whether to build or break yourself.

The world will continue to revolve no matter how vast the extend one's reason to stop may be.

It's all about that behavoir, that attitude.

That choice is ours to choose to remain satisfied and glad or to be unable to face up to the person in ourselves.

As for me, ill remain and sustain the goodness that the Lord had made me to be and continue to live the love song in Him, no matter how strong and brittle my days may be...

Lord, i will testify to love...

Testify to Love
All the colors of the rainbow
All of voices of the wind
Every dream that reaches out
That reaches out to find where love begins
Every word of every story
Every star in every sky
Every corner of creation lives to testify

For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love
I'll be a witness in the silences when words are not enough
With every breath I take I will give thanks to God above
For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love

From the mountains to the valleys
From the rivers to the sea
Every hand that reaches out
Every hand that reaches out to offer peace
Every simple act of mercy
Every step to kingdom come
All the Hope in every heart will speak what love has done

Miss you...

2007-03-31T00:09:00.000+08:00

these few days ain't easy.

but i had good time at my pre-course.

Coaching and facilitating AAR. I can't wait to share and teach our leaders. It's such a powerful tool and totally useful!

been thinking alot lately. Been rather selfish lately.

I'm kinda back to my old self- keeping thoughts and feelings inside.

taking loads myself and unwanted u to carry much.

how can it be? when it takes two hands to clap in a r/s.

its bad. i noe. totally.

so gal, i sorry cos i noe its unfair to you.

My silence must have left you lost.

I'll try again.

i thank God cos u remained prayerful for us.

n those prayers kept us going.

its really more than meets the eyes, not many can comprehend, but we'll hold on.

Missing you...

be it

2007-03-26T02:20:00.000+08:00

the time will soon come...

when all is still when you find yourself all alone...

broken but hanging on to the feat...

tired. so what?
weary. so what?
worried. so what?
broken. so what?
drained. so what?
exhausted. so what?
fatigued. so what?

the world don't stop.
passer-bys continue their walk.
red light continue to turn green.
tides continue crashing.
time ticks.
hours pass.

no one stops.

Leadership

2007-03-13T02:05:00.000+08:00

tanned like charcoal...

Lord, thank you for all you've done.

n now, i am totally convinced You deliver what You promised.

Your word is true.

I should jot this down and make known to those who read.

For you guys who stayed true and through with me,

you shld have known how this div started with difficulties and uncertainties.

As you guys have ever enerstly prayed for us, you made tt difference.

yes, your prayers are answered.

Not only now are the kids growing up, they are growing strong.

Just the past week, i have received positive feedbacks all around.

All the disciplining and doing what's right paid off.

Young minds and lives changed, siblings and parents are confident of how we're operating.

n Spdlighters shld know, parents are actually looking and talking about us.

Looking up at how spdlight has grown(while some of us are still whimpering dunno abt wad...).

And among the adult group, they are introducing one anothers' children to join us.

So, God must have done all things right with us.

Only if you allow yourself to be that vessel God can use.

I learnt, one doesn't really need to comprehend the full widom of His plans immediately(cos He obviously will show you pieces bit by bit...)

So, be patient and continue serving and praying and press on until u reach tt prize.

If in this division, P6 can do it, what more about us?

we could have been groundshaking and groundbreaking!

And certain leaders' names were brought up in praises.

Making differences in God with such magnitude.

Well done! Dear faithful leaders of Spdlight, don't give up! Our revival from God WILL COME.

All it takes is to believe.

You know who u pray to. You know who to call. If you say you believe, then believe you will.

To me, leadership can be very enduring.

Your journey may be more lonely cos you're doing the job assigned by God,

but becos God's our lead and we are the second in command, let us lead our sheeps well in preventing them to become Satan's lambchop.

I love my kids, all of them.

Nice ones, naughty ones, obedient ones, mischevious ones, all of them.

n my beloved leaders too.

They are simply AWESOME!

As you heed the call, the results will surface in due time.

n before you know, its all worth it.

More than just results, its about lives being changed.

n the call for Godly leadership becomes even more important.

n thru u, yes, even senior spdlighters, you become a living example for the young ones to follow.

So you do actually have a say to teach them right on our culture and energy.

Come on. Spdlight is about youths! about our culture.

About being Spdlighters together worshipping and seeking this common love of our Father.

yes, in life, everyone has their own fair share of hardship, not one without.

But keep your smiles wider and with gladness.

tt seperates us from the world of misery and make that cause happen for multitudes who wants to follow us.

Because only thru Jesus may we find true joy.

To those who missed out the combined Leader's Conference, i was blown away and concured to that authority from God thru Pastor Rony.

"n as Christians, we must raise our standards higher"

Mortal combat...

Honour

2007-03-06T11:04:00.000+08:00

The differences set apart:

You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Therefore, this is thus understood:

It is not our purpose to become each other; it is to recognize each other, to learn to see the other and honor him for what he is.
-Hermann Hesse

Wisdom.

2007-03-01T11:51:00.000+08:00

thru' e busyness of everydae, Valentine's dae morning started beautifully...sunshine flowers sent right to your hrt, without u comprehending wad's coming your way...with much prayer, plans were made, n directions set, your Dean was found, n the flowers found you...n yes, all tt awkwardness one wld be encompassed, tt passion remained to honour-

I Dare.

It came night, rustling through the mad traffic, God prepared a place, of which we endured to reach
n of which we reached, romance was pitched.
Lovely, romantic, the place was,
the ambience was all set right.

Your gift, so awesome, back some time,
i knew the hands, the ones so tiredsome...
beyond e period, u set your sight
incredibly, your love it soared to height!

n time it came, was almost night.
we drove to e place,
where there were tiny lights.

Lowly the planes flew, the ships afar
the oceans came ashore
there came the reason we were there for.

it was our 1st place we set our wheels on.
this Valentines, we revisited our memories,
with glasses of champane n a view worth breathing for.

that lil secret we had that very night,
let it remain in us for a long long time to come.
lest us be forgotten, let not the moment be.

to those who comprehend, happy Valentines to u...
your hrt harbours much love..

n e very same reason n passion we share goes beyond e tongues of which many will wag.
but does it matter? e qns i ask of you...
let your love be brave to those who belittle you.
whoever it may be.
becos u who know better, loves better.

n u who caught my very eyes and hrt,
whom Christ favoured you in my life...
who gave much support in this thorny pathway,
be constantly blessed in the love of Christ n mine..

in God's very leadership,
allow me to take you by my hands,
to lead and to guide you,
in accordance to the life He wants us to live.

Let us also remember this Valentines is of God's love,
His first love for us,
and the many loving prayers to come revolving our lives.

even if we shall fail,
God never fails.even if we part,
tt decision we make will continue to lead us onwards.

nv was once a r/s could be handled w/o pain.
nv a journey smooth.nv w/o tears.
w/o strive.w/o quarrels.
w/o disagreements.
nv one w/o anyone gossiping about it.
nv w/o prayers.
nv was easy.

Let this 1st Valentines speak loud,
penning down our memory lanes.
thank you sweety for everything,

n i Love You

2007-03-01T02:42:00.000+08:00

i will return.

For all that we've forged before,

i will bring it back.

62/05 Charlie. Always remembered.

Time

2007-02-28T18:43:00.000+08:00

It's almost time for leave.

At a reflection, i have served my peacetime role for the 6 months.

Ah Gong will say time past.

but i say, i past time.

In less than a month, will be back on course for 3 months.

And when back, ORD is just fingers away.

Bt i'm aiming higher. Let's c if i'm on time for an opportunity.

Wadever it is, its loads of studying.

i'm most happy to be back to serve after my cse. Not for the job, but for the peeps.

Some just nag like my father, but still, we're collegues.

Forget about those wadevers, i bet i've mixed with the somewhat better.

n indeed, they shld be proud of their reds.

n deservingly to those beyond their pride, whom i work so closely with everyday, fellow officers and warrants, its been great working tog...

After so much of doing work with my 2IC and the peeps ard my centre, i realized,

WE ARE ALL VERY HUMAN.

Yes. Tt's the case. Hanging ard with the high estabs seemed like living with sibilings everyday.

Just that they are way higher rank then i am and there are pressure and displeasure here and there.

Not forgeting the jokes at least we had everyday. Well, that at least assured me i'm in the family...As least during meetings i got "suan" like anything but we all laughed it off like anything as well...

Haha..Take it easy dude. Life is tough enuff, at least we're made humans to take it easier.

ZUO REN YAO KAN DE KAI (being human, one must learn to take it easy...)

n Nix happily asked if i could go Batam with him for water ski-ing.

Bo liao end up being scolded by him for not being available.

Madness. It's quite funny tho'. I'm not your daddy, boi.

n thnks to da, managed to link up to be an attachee and observer for a Bn Ex.

i bet i'll learn better beyond the books.

i hope.

wonder how gal is doing...=) hope your headache has turned better ya?..anw, i enjoyed having softee chendol with ya..Gd recommendation!..

Go try it guys. Pop into 7-11 n give it a shot!

-
here we go, oh o, oh wo oh wo oh wo, hey!
here we go, oh o, oh wo oh wo oh wo!

2007-02-21T19:12:00.000+08:00

Let the wisdom of God befall on you

let His understanding surpass your knowledge

James 3:13

Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.

~the good life we live as an example should not come by our own hearts to serve any other desires. But to serve as a reminder to others to follow us because they would ultimately see that it is wise to do so in God w/o making them doubt our intentions.

Colossians 2:2-3

My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.

Bottom line, get an understanding.

Live the life God has intended,

Not by how you say and think.

n yes, we are on our way,

w/o those coloured shades.

____________________________________________________________

Fire Fall Down

by Hillsong United

You bought my life with the
Blood that You shed on the cross
When You died for the sins of men
And You let out a cry
Crucified now alive in e

These hands are Yours
Teach them to serve as You please
And I'll reach out desperate to see
All the greatness of God
May my soul rest assured in You

I'll never be the same
No I'll never be the same

Cause I know that You're alive
You came to fix my broken life
And I'll sing to glorify
Your Holy Name
Jesus Christ

You changed it all
You broke down the wall
When I spoke and confessed
In You I'm blessed
Now I walk in the light
In victorious sight of You

Your fire fall down
Fall down
On us we pray
As we seek

Show me Your heart
Show me Your way
Show me Your glory

it will come...

2007-02-14T09:15:00.000+08:00

We are accustomed to say that the truth makes men free.
It does nothing of the kind.
It is the knowledge of the TRUTH that creates freedom.
"Ye shall know the TRUTH, and the TRUTH shall make you free"

-Ernest H. Cherrington

Now i know i'm not alone saying the similar thing.

March/April is drawing near. Little time left. So much to do.

hope to give my all but time concerned to plan and conduct Leader's Trg.

I expect alot more this batch. It's either raise standards, or remain the same.

There must be changes. n tt change will do us gd.

e leaders will be equipped, Ready and rise up to their appointments.

They must be empowered, moved and different.

2 things - Daring and Dynamic.

Youths are always set apart, young and versatile.

they are an assest. n leaders need to tap on their rightful potentials.

Lord, have your way n let nothing stand in ours.
____________________________________________________
Hillsong United - The Stand

You stood before creation
Eternity in Your hand
You spoke the earth into motion
My soul now to stand

You stood before my failure
Carried the Cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon Your shoulders
My soul now to stand

So what can I say
What could I do
But offer this heart Oh God
Completely to You

So I'll walk upon salvation
Your Spirit alive in me
My soul to declare Your promise
This life to declare Your promise
My soul now to stand

I'll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all

I'll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours

2007-02-05T02:05:00.000+08:00

where o when will it all end?
__________________
endless battle everyday,

every moment is nothing but decisions made

like many who r despaired,

others who r worn,

many hanging on,

giving up seems like to be the word,

yet, it seems to be the hardest word.

the race will never be done,

keep running,

until the day of Jesus Christ.

i know that one day will come,

all will never be the same.

no longer will their hearts be satisfied by themselves,

they will hunger and thrist,

they will be desperate.

they will ache in their hearts,

their bones dry,

their soul ripped apart.

and that river that flows from that throne,

will fill them overflowing.

quenching every portion.

that adrenaline rush for grace and mercy,

will RUN.

James 1:19-27.

2007-02-05T00:10:00.000+08:00

...cos' you and i both loved.

tired

2007-01-29T21:08:00.000+08:00

one year ago

2007-01-29T17:18:00.000+08:00

one yr plus ago, it was GROUP.

Then there was SECTION.

n i was trained in PLATOON.

it deviated to know what's DETACHMENT.

n now, it's COMPANY.

soon, it's BATALLION.

is there a need?

All the way!

2007-01-25T01:17:00.000+08:00

Ex CO came back n shared his vision n goal set for his wing.

100,000 sit-ups. Entire wing to acheive one shot.

Means about everyone do some 500.

Back here, he was legendary for the 1,000 sit-ups goal during his training.

what hurts but doesn't kill wun harm.

Let's start training.

Get into some fitness fit madness.

CTC and AIOC in a few months.

Whack a good one, n come out alive.

Dare in, Dare out.

Leave no man behind.

No more 1st Platoon. 1st Company, LEAD THE WAY!

ALL THE WAY!

siao liao la!

Lert the praises ring!

2007-01-25T00:35:00.000+08:00

Let The Praises Ring

Oh Lord my God in You I put my trust
Oh Lord my God in You I put my hope
Oh Lord my God in You I put my trust
Oh Lord my God in You I put my hope

In You in You I find my peace
In You in You I find my strength
In You I live and move and breathe
Let everything I say and do
Be founded by my faith in You
I lift up holy hands and sing
Let the praises ring!

Oh Lord my God to You I give my hands
Oh Lord my God to You I give my feet
Oh Lord my God to You I give my everything
Oh Lord my God to You I give my life

is this what i want?

2007-01-24T12:37:00.000+08:00

what i didn't choose, i have to do.

what i am to do, i din't choose.

if it's Your will, then be it done.

must we?

2007-01-18T12:04:00.000+08:00

what on earth are we doing?

living off this world or being part of this all?

is that all, God?

how much more?

the bigger picture

2007-01-17T11:27:00.000+08:00

Sometime during reflection, i realized that among where we exist, there is a need for senior commanders to be present.

In our context, senior leadership.

An army may be robbed of its spirit and its commander deprived of his confidence.

At the beginning of a campaign, the spirits of soldiers are keen; after a certain period of time, they flag, and in the later stage thoughts turn towards home.

And therefore, those skilled in war avoid the enemy when his spirit is keen and attack him when it is sluggish and his soldiers homesick.

This is the control of the moral factor.

In good order, they await a disorderly enemy; in serenity, a clamorous one.

This is control of the mental factor.

Close to the field of battle, they await an enemy coming from afar at rest, they await an exhausted enemy; with well=fed troops, they await hungry ones.

This is the control of the physical factor.

They do not engage an enemy advancing with well-ordered banners nor one whose formations are in impressive array.

This is control of the factor of changing circumstances.

The art of employing troops is that when the enemy occupies high ground, do not confront him uphill, and when his back is resting on hills, do not make a frontal attack.

When he pretends to flee, do not pursue.

Do not attack troops whose spirits are keen.

Do not swallow bait.

Do not thwart an enemy who is returning homewards.

Leave a way of escape to a surrounded enemy, and do not press a desperate enemy too hard. Such is the art of employing troops.

-Sun Tzu's Art of War

Every soldier is equipped with his own knowledge of fighting with his individual field craft. Yet, there must be the other who must plan and make it sound for battle. He may be the one doing the talking, but unless he speaks, no amount of group can just do the fight with his fists.

Behind every plan, there must be the doctrine. This is his source where he learns and derives his decisions.

Somewhere in church, such similarity will have to exist. God is our commander, the perfector. His plans will forever be sound. As individual units, as we fight our battle everyday, the Commander is in hands of the strategy, ready to discuss with us.

Are we ready to listen?

Bringing down the level of command, there must be unit leaders to group up the fighters. He is capable of employing his men to the best of their abilities. To zero-in, they are our cell leaders. They know their members. Their habits and fighting capabilities zoomed in. They help them match the plans with the Commander.

Back in OCS, I remembered walking along the walkway and the quote goes something like, ‘when they look at the men, they would have known who their leader are’. There is a fair bit of meaning in what goes there. Then, shouldn’t our investment and time goes towards leaders and thus, fine tune the men?

Train the men to whom the Commander wants them to be. The rules and regulations are all stated in the Commandments. We are the authorities being commissioned to act. That’s where He gives us the power. Of which, must be handled properly w/n the instructions of the Commander.

Imagine a whole lot of a troop, being so well trained, individually motivated and initiated. When the unit leaders and Commander says, “GO!” and the troops move w/o second doubt on their leadership, the overwhelming strength and power would exceed what the enemy could handle.

As discussed on the above mentioned, is the control of the moral and the mental factor.

As for now, let’s listen to what our Commander has to say in our daily walks.

And Satan is nothing but soon, underneath our feet.

ain't it all

2007-01-16T01:22:00.000+08:00

as grandpa sat there telling us how blessed we were, he broke down in tears remembering where he were when he was like us...

tt gripped my hrt.

friends

2007-01-03T01:28:00.000+08:00

it is not until now that i realized there was aid provided by God, n i ain't on my own.

watch me

2007-01-02T13:56:00.000+08:00

i am after you.

The opportunity

2006-12-23T15:32:00.000+08:00

AOMC informed the Fmn and e call came yest fine morning when i was woken up by it.

My name was in the list!

Totally thrilled! still unsure bout it manz...

A place at SAFTI Advance School!

da encouraged i shld go...rare opportunity...

1st, ill try to complete the Company Tactics Course (CTC).

Then try to go for Advanced Infantry Officers' Course(AIOC).

It also means i'll start studying for military knowledge and cheong the papers!

then maybe do a PC tour followed by an OC tour till NSmen liability?

long training days to begin again...

Shld i?

wad about my ministry and the division?

n i'm not alone anymore.

many considerations.

The selection finally affirmed i belonged somewhere.

doesn't matter how some other think about me...

when its time, its time.

n God is indeed faithful. Lord, thanks for believing in me.

no matter whether i take it up or not, its enuff to assure me my worth.

all these while sitting in the office gets me wondering who am i.

n the Lord showed Himself.

I'm grateful...

2006-12-18T04:50:00.000+08:00

no matter wad, a lovely family to keep in e hrt for:
i love you guys. happy 20th bdae da! =D

2006-12-18T04:28:00.000+08:00

16 Dec 06, our sword-of-honour's Military Wedding:
May i present to you, the 12 honour guards for the couple!(Argh, no bride n groom, they were too busy!)
Best pal, always... e evening was lovely with ur surprise!
1st platoon-Leaders, brothers, fighters. every individual, special. we exist, regardless.

Lord, i'm grateful for each one of them.

Thank you.

2006-12-18T04:05:00.000+08:00

Sword bearers for our dearest brother Bani's wedding:
strong band. brothers.
all knew wad respect was. guess u missed it...
groom to be, already is! happy marriage bro! Ready to strike!
Big monster. First n foremost!

Listen when u only set yourself ready to.
Don't expect others to listen when u aren't.

Don't assume others lie when u ain't knowing no truth.

Care or Scare?

your ways, one way, always?

nw, who's really blind?

wake up to your senses.

enuff said.

Camp comm

2006-12-18T03:53:00.000+08:00

My team of beautiful camp comms: Recce Night...
ppl who sings..
who plays
02 x commandants-alvins

n Lord thru us, multiply, magnify n extend Your Kingdom.

Beautiful people to work with, wonderful camp comms.

campers too, to come.

To everyone of you, thanks. We'll make it happen-God along.

2006-12-05T09:10:00.000+08:00

skydining above all else...
view of vivo with a romantic dinner..
for the lovely time spent tog..just bet u n me..

2006-12-05T09:04:00.000+08:00

before the dining...
keeping us warm..
wad an idea!..
celebrating autumn by the maple trees..

fears

2006-11-27T02:13:00.000+08:00

i see storm brewing before me in this period.

beyond my crazy, enthusiatic n energetic self embedes much fear, uncertainty n feeling of lost.

yet i noe Christ had gone thru this, n so must i to bypass my stage.

i am shaken, somehow. the fear of God.

yet the soft still voice persists n resides.

"...Alvin, i called you by name. above all else, here I AM. n becos I AM, know that I AM in All..."

i must rise with Christ.

constantly i fight my battle,

"listen up, Alvin Chia. 21 years of upbrining, how could you remain as you are? can't you handle anything? is this all? all that you can take? fear? haven't you overcome any? uncertainty? haven't you been ever assured? lost? haven't you been once found? God has given you n its enough power. You have seen yet you chose to restrict. God is more than glad to give me even more power, but you've learnt, its enuff. It is the authortiy you must learn to grab n exercise..."

crazy mind, crazy heart, n i fight my thots, i fight my mind...

"...ppl ard u, they see your potential. they c that you can do the job. so why can't you accept the challenge n rise up? not crazy enuff? (ok, i alr am...) not skillful enuff? nt experienced enuff? afraid of ppl pinpointing at you when smth goes wrong? can't resolve issues? can't take it in your stride shall all else fails? ..."

endless combat...

"why? situation at hand too much for you to bear? didn't Christ won it all at the cross? His blood not enuff to carry you thru? not enuff support? how much do you need till you're comfortable to fight on? must you be comfortable? is that a trait of ldership to be certain first? will ur lders stand by you? what r your qualities, skill sets n experiences? not enuff still? how much more you want? "

biang eh!

siao. alvin gone all crazy.

fight on n on n on.

then i realized,

why not i ask God to fight for me?

God! i cry out! when i knock, you have to open the door! tts wad u said in Your Word!

if You don't, i will knock n disturb You until You do something about it!

if it is your Ministry, don't You have to provide?

knock knock knock!...OPEN THE DOOR!

Ah ha! i got it.

tts the picture.

see, that is how God lures me to Him. He seeks my companionship. He wants me to Him.

"...when you seek me and find me, seek me with all of your hrt, not just a part...n when the times that you feel like, this world is so far from your home, you're not alone...cos I will never depart, just seek me with all of your hrt..."

"...for me to live is Christ, and to 'die' is gain, no mater what price i pay, i choose to give this life away..."

i often think i can motivate myself n push n push n push. That is for my physical self. but the spiritual one needs God. only He can provide n nourish that portion.

God i ask of you...

no longer can i, you must take your throne in my life now. more, n more n even more. i cannot own myself, you must take over!

"ALVIN CHIA! close your eyes. be still, keep silence. touch your hrt, feel it, listen to it. the things of the world must grow dim. more of Him means less of you. KEEP STILL THERE! Focus focus focus focus n focus. keep your focus. then focus again. don't lose it. focus. keep it. focus. "

be it talking to myself or nt, this physical body and soul must be disciplined.

the spiritual self is left to God. now i've got a lil wisdom.

What is the intent of my higher command?

Lord, i seek...

_____________________________________________________

Ok, enuff strife with myself. Now, time to be grateful n give thanks.

to salome, thanks for your SMS prayers everytime. it is always a surprise, n that care when you share often brings much comfort! i thank God for you.

self commentary. sorry salome, dun haf ur photo!

i thank God for lewis, rachel and lynn, for just standing n sitting there for even a moment to contribute ideas n your few cents worth.

sexy boy on the left

thanks da also, for your unceasingly fun times! two mad brothers add tog like one screwed up grinded pot of chicken n duck mesh.

all smiles!

wonder where dis came from...

MIB no more. WIB(woman in black) instead.

n during our buck's session, doug for suggestions n sharing...the rest along are Flannery, Ling Quan, Jian Han, linda n li jia. For all the sharing n discussion on our future ministry n development, you guys n gals play a part! n Li Jia for your active concern n passion in Q&As!

Wonderful father n spearheading our ministry

Pastor Sam of course for all the admin n sourcing. Nv cld do w/o ur ldership.

Butt brothers

Kenny Tan for asking me for 21 km (of which i'd love to run half naked with ya) bt can't cos of the new div.

since secondary till now...

every individual camp comm for actively invlove in the running n prep for the prespd camp. Tay esp for being such responsible Co-Commandant. Nonetheless, Cordy for co-ord n wonderful advisor.

Grown n certainly unique

of course, for my special someone, tho' you're not ard, but i am reminded of your goodness n spurring n support for my ministry n involvement. thanks for the confidence built in me thus far.

Xx for the good times spent with ya and ur partner. n the unceasing passion for chr service n Cg.

n my one n only sole support.

Jesus Christ.

Lord, i love you, n i will do what i can to support n maintain your ministry. Help me work with people, lead my lders n develop me even further for your Glory. you n i noe its tough, its peanuts to you, bt its like some motherLOAD unto me.

Forgive me for my little jokes on thee,
so tt i might forget thy big ones on me.

Just joking!

Press on!

_________________________________________

we're always brothers...havin in mind of you all always. Bani, congrats on your marriage. We're proud to be your once in a lifetime sword bearers!

Never fallen. Journey only beginning...

Onwards n remembering our position n purpose.
don't really care bout ur respect anymore. be it who u influence, similarly, i lost mine for you. On Par. be it. i've moved on. i've stayed too long for you. i hav far too many issues to focus on. i've remembered who i am. i've taken my share of blame, perhaps, far too long in the ditch. I'm climbing out. i'm taking my stand. i will move on. there r far too many to lead. ain't stopping no more...

Cpt Paul sir, thank u for all e grooming. To us all, uve been a wonderful PC. To whom we r, we're all led by your charasmatic leadership along with the instructors. u've made 1st platoon impossible, possible. Our fights, battle n all the crawling thru dirt n mud, no one will ever empathise n understand our going-thrus, ditches, injuries, tears and pain. To many, its just the rank,class and honour. We noe better inside. It's ours. To all our 9 months n years to come, On Guard!