Saturday, November 12, 2005

Dis marked another week with Ninja company out in the field. We spent 7 days out in e field, playing wif e insects, chasing dogs, fertilizing e soil, crushing e ants and dig with e dirt. Nevertheless, it was almost 'hell' from e commanders. Every soldier in Ninja coy(short for company) suffered under heavy stress, especially Ninja 3, cos we're well known for tekan.

Every day, we feared e nite tekan. When platoon 1, 2 and 4 are all asleep, we're falling in with Full Battle Order, then ran back to basha to keep. Followed by falling in and tekan wif all e push-ups n etc. Afterwhich, ran back to basha to retrieve e field pack and back to fall in area which is all muddy and dirty(we can't be bothered wif all e filth cos our mind have reached an optimum where e body juz shuts off). Then we have to take out all e belongings and put back n take out and put back n so on...

Every nite before we slp, we feared e day. E same vicious cycle carried on, n dis is e training style of Ninja. Refelecting back, if it wasn't for e brothers whom we supported arm in arm, i guess we would have be broken entirely-physically,mentally n emotionally.

In e past 7 days, it was quite emo. Everyone felt it, one by one, they came asking me if im alright...i am, just tt i'm sick on e very 2nd day onwards. Even if im not, im also not those kind who would talk abt it. I was rather demoralized by e affliction on my body tt i cannot take it any further becos i cannot concentrate on e training. Even my section commander keep asking me. I got a prob wif my platton commander, he keep giving me impression like im so so weak. In e end, my anger simply turned into disappointment in despair. Yet, i still haf to keep faith in wad God wanted us to trust, follow and pray for our authority. So ironic!

Faithfully i prayed, bt there wasn't any healing. In fact, it got worse. on e third day, i fell wif fever. Like da, we nv wanted to be defeated by illness. So, i declined frm reporting sick thinking things wld be fine aft prayer. i got really disappointed wif God, cos He knew how much i wanted to train in e field wif e rest. However, wif all e affliction, i could almost do nothing...somehow inside, He was impressing smth tt i cannot infer, even till dis date...

Come fourth day, my temp went up to 39 degrees when i woke up 0440hrs in my basha feeling overly hot. i suspect tonsilitis. e temp could be felt over my uniform. Sadly, i woke my buddy up, ask him to feel my forehead n he insisted i shld seek e Medical Officer immediately. Nevertheless, i caught back e cough frm e mass and my world was totally devastated. Too much a hassle, e tonner(e big green army truck 4 information) have to deliver me back from outfield back to company line n then still got to bath(while my buddies cant!which is superbly unfair) then still got to march to medical centre.

I hate e feeling of reporting sick. In e end, something inside impressed i should. So i did aft many buddies advised tt i must. Guess wad? when i did, there were some others who are also reporting sick bt noeing tt they trying to 'chao keng'(escape harsh training). So, e commanders were having impressions we're all weak. Tts when e feelings came in...

Aft all e 4 hrs of waiting at e medical centre, i got to see e Medical Officer and was out of e room in no longer than 20 secs. Yes, 20 secs. Dun doubt it. Outrageous. I couldn't do anything. Afterall, no empowerment, im just another 'chao'(pathetic) recruit. My status was Attend B for three days, so i couldn't participate anymore than just observing them and doing all e 'sai kang'(shit work). In e SAF, shit work=Fatigue Work. Sounds gd rite? Juz a cover up...So, instead of traning hard wif my buddies, i was at e company line plucking MOSS on e road n e sides. Totally demoralizing right? Wad kind of soldier was tt who dun train bt pluck grass? Was God impressing humility to me? I've got no choice. So be it. Anger turned silence.

On e last night, OC sir received another complain call n was whacked all over n stressed out by e army authority n so on. He sincerely seeked for e recruit to own up so he can settle e prob bt no one did. It was my first time where i felt for him when we realized his grandfather was in hospital n his gf is also complaining(gf can b quite irritatin sometimes). Everyone have their own sets of difficulties, sad stories and i understood his standing.

For e entire night, he sat there, staring into blank space. When e rest of e commanders lit up e solid fuels n created a 'camp fire', he stood just there n stared at e flames. They created some jokes, i could barely see him smile. But when he did, e feeling of gladness overcame me. I dunno why, OC sir is a man of discipline n harsh training. He is indeed capable of anything to crush recruits, bt to take a step to reflect, he is human afterall. His other side is where e 'chao' recruits will nv comprehend.

We had our last night of talents in e open reclaimed land, we sang, we laughed, we appreciated all e hardwork n efforts we gave to overcome e 7 days. When i was in e bunk n e rest came back all dirtied in e Fri afternoon, i had so much sense of belonging when they asked where was i n they missed my presence. Tt was when i realized im accepted once more...

n we're all chao recruits again.
|