Sunday, August 20, 2006

simply LOVE e kids..superbly love them..when i tot of them, my hrt so went out..their hugs were awesome..n they are e reason why i always remind myself to learn, fight hard to defend..AWESOME! 
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In this month alone, i was rejected 4 times regarding certain stuffs. Deeply disappointed, i knelt during prayers in my room, almost amounting to tears..

1. I was out from e Army Half Marathon running team for OCS- tho' i really tried, i'm still not gd enuff for e speed n time

2. Wanted to join e telematch to relax n haf fun then kena kick out to join vertical marathon to win awards. I din't even haf a choice?

3. Chosen for parade commander selection. Everything went on so well till i was kicked out cos i wasn't tall enuff. Why go thru all e stages n tell me only at the end?! I was so ready to perform n do my parents proud on e dae n keep silent for a surprise...why take tt away frm me?

4. Was in e Sword of Merit list. Till i was kicked out again due to some error they din't foresee. So why let e word out i was in n latter tell me e sad news? I wanted so much to surprise my bro n let him noe im capable to lead him on with a standard on par with him. Why take it away, again?!

i questioned God like mad. On my knees, my world came to halt. I'm hearing too much of myself. I got answers e next dae.

God u loved me. I don't wanna live my life for other 'idols'. I drew a full-stop to all these wordly awards. Whatever i am, i offer it to You, n only. Enuff is done. I've strived n tried too much. Time to let go......

n let You.
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Sunday, August 13, 2006

On e 4th of August, Charlie Wing Cadets woke up to a morning of uncertainty. Apart struggling with e devil frm slumberland, we had our real enemy in mind. Every infantry soldier will part-take e significant event of Platoon Assault Course as a cadet, his every effort n strength comes to test.

Early morning, Charlie 1st Platoon had their warm up. E cohort was about to be briefed, but they persisted their practise n hurried back to the training shed. Even when instructions were passed around by our officers, Charlie were forthgoing n responsive. They dared n were ready. E hunger to win was evident, but 1st Platoon had a different perspective...

In e absence of terence, alvin assumed command of being the 'noisy' motivator of 1st Platoon. We gathered at the grass patch n had our Platoon Commander(PC) giving his last speech. All e training times we had tog, excellence or dirt painful, we hung on n stood like brothers that day. I knelt with my weapon n held my Platoon flag sturdy with pride.

In his mellow n gentle voice he reminded us, "...1st platoon, you all have come so far n indeed made it through...this is the last time you are all gonna take part n compete as a Platoon...". Of course he included, "...you guys are more than friends, you are all made BROTHERS...". The rest of my brethens held all their hands on my head n body n cuddled closer n the most emotional thing came...

He posed this very question, "...1st platoon are you guys finally perfect?...". We watched a movie during our first few weeks in Officer Cadet School. It was about family, love n friendship. Immediately i was struck back to history n back, everyone identified that question. 1st Platoon din't answer promptly, but were cautious to think before affirming their deicision. Being perfect in accordance to e show was defined as "being perfect is about being able to look into the eyes of your family, loved ones, friends n community, truthful at all extend without feeling guilt n certain bout yourself..."

He continued, "...this is our last, so will you guys aim to win? doesn't matter if you come back winning or losing, most importantly, you guys do it tog...". Damn emo can?!

In harmony, we replied, "..yes sir!..". I went crazy immediately, made a whole lot of a noise n everyone was hyped up by now. Someone just had to do something different, Bani took his lead. He calmed us saying, "...guys, let's do this. I always do this before anything like concert n all..Let's all take time to reflect n pray to whoever you believe in, we will draw strength from above. Come, we're brothers now, hold hands n we'll pray.."

That showed e amount of diversity our Platoon had in harmony. Bani is a Muslim n we're able to identify everyone's differences n contained each other perfectly. We shut our eyes, thought about one another, n prayed in tt one mind, on spirit n one blood. The 8 months we had tog bound us closely, shoulder to shoulder, hand in hand. For that moment, i acted so emontional n got kicked for that! haha...but those few tears were real if they haven't realized, n i made a few of them teared a lil too! i shld b nominated for best actor award!

Prayer done. Our motto in our hrts, brothers united in one mind, on Bani's lead, he screamed with all his voice, "1st PLATOON LEAD THE WAY!", we concurred, "ALL THE WAY! HOO AH!"..By then, the rara stuff comes in n e motivation we harboured instantly brought us to great height n hit our competitor's morale, HARD!

1st up was 50m combat swim in uniform. Woah, shack man! Then, we did our casualty evacuation with great pride, remembering along the route how we endured hardship at various landmarks. As we carried the load in Full Battle Order(FBO), the communication went on well so it wasn't so painful along the journey. So i went like, "1st Platoon! Come on! Momentum! Smile! Show e person next to you how u brush ur teeth n dun save on those smiles! Come on! Laugh! Release ur happy hormones!...". Everyone had fun n all...In our call for duty n competition, these were things that hold us through n true.

We reached the live firing range after about 5-6km. Fired our 5 rounds n scores were accounted for. Everyone was worried how e Platoon did, but was assured with great confidence we will be in placing. The second leg would be tougher but we decided to hold one another through...

Along the way, Lieutenant D followed us. Just as we were all sweaty, painful n all from the fast march, he mentioned, "1st platoon had never been first. if you guys can do it, make HISTORY! you guys can! make the difference!"..Manz, that scream was hell out of a morale!~

When we finally saw e end point, our spirits were heightened n the last few steps were important. When my team was finally shacked out, the next team took over e stretcher n completed the last push...E last man in, once strength accounted for, it wasn't about e winning...

It's about FINISHING!

We din't reserve our compliments, our physical emotions n expressions. We hugged one another immediately n couldn't stop hugging! Still catching our breaths n sweaty whole body, some just dropped on e floor 'dying'! haha..tt moment was magical! Along e way, i remembered John going like, "come guys! LOOK at me! i'm waddling! Come, waddle with me! Come on! Do it!...". He waddled to show us its possible to open our steps n keep up with the rest. So at the end point, he went, "1st PLATOON, i LOVE you guys man! Team 1,2,3 n 4, love you guys manz! Woooooh!.."..

On n on, we continue our love affair with countless, love you manz! Reuben laid on e floor totally gone n i swayed to him with extreme fatigue...i placed my rifle down, knelt by his side n made sure he gets his share of our hugs..

Never in my life had i saw such unity, spirit n hunger.

E Lord showed me what it takes in a race, n how powerful men can be when they took courage on their side. With e Lord even closer, wad not can u acheive?

With e competition still on, we cheered e others in, showed great sense of sportmanship. We took family photos n all, 3 Charlie Platoon was a Wing, we were one!

Then e conversations led to worrying the results n anxious bout our performance. Nevertheless, when e results were finally out, out of the 6 position, Charlie Wing took the top 3 n all 3 platoons stand place in the podium!

Now, 1st Platoon is a humble Platoon. We din't expect too much, but hoped n prayed we get wad we paid off for our efforts. Our hrts skipped a few beats, lips dried n mind focused...

1st Platoon was 1st! wooooooooooooooooooooooh!

How coolz was that!? We kept one another true n it all came victorious!

Now, we're HISTORY MAKERS!......................................
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Wednesday, August 09, 2006

back from taiwan some time ago..haven't gotten the right time to really update..it's been quite some while tho'...

Many happenings n time snaps in such a lightning..one more month and i'm commissioning..all e excercises n fighting wif these band of officers-to-be has come to an end..like many, e feeling really really sucks..having to leave these 9 months of army buddies who saw me in rooms n toilet 'naked' running ard..

training's gonna take a lil downside so i'll hav more time for e Lord n stuff happening in chr..haven't been really active all these while in camp..shld really take more time out for the youths...

i'm really tired physically..been out of slp n all..evr'y single dae is bout lookin forward to e nite rest..n missing all e things i've been left out while training in camp..soon, e appointment n responsibility will be endowed..

more to write...for now, more pondering to do..
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