Back from an overnight at Han's place. Thanks bro for opening up ur place for a nite of bond n fun...Coulnd't realli stay awake cos gonna be needing e energy when i get back ta camp..There was clean fun of course, which was a comfort.

It soon came to an end. E hols ending n time to report for duty. As usual, life was more than colourful for me...hectic n confusing tt is...

There was my mate in his section field camp who was totally worn out and was utterly careful wif his weapon when checking clear...He made sure e chamber was clear of any ammunition, bt in due err, he forgotten about his magazine of blank rounds...He cocked his SAR 21 rifle, ready to end his check by squeezing e trigger...He reminded himself as he said, 'remember not to Negligent Discharge(which meant officers could charge e joker 14 days Restricted Privilege where he will not get to book out for 2 weeks n every 2 hrs of admin time to report to Operations room to take some 'firing')'..as he was thinking bout tt, he hoped tt e new year could be well spent back at home wif his family..in desperate tiredness, he wanted e clear to be done with n thus, he pulled e trigger...

Bang

It wasn't supposed to be a BANG. Tts it. He stood there, stunned, wif all e rest of e wing starring at him. His platoon commander came, took him, n shamed him before e entire wing. He demanded his actions to be accounted for before e crowd n did it in so to guilt him, to make him reminded of e foolish thing he juz did..so e commander declared 'officer cadet so n so, is gonna report for RP at least 14 days due to his ignorance..'. He dint blame his commander, he saw it coming, he told me he prayed bout when he was bout to squeeze e trigger...

He showed no signs of anger. Juz disappointment. For e night, he couldn't speak much, as talkative he was, i guess he's shaken. i slept with him, guilty n shameful at his moment of folly. Finally, officer cadet so n so took it in his stride, he's gonna take it like a man. Tt was his decision. So he said, 'let it be then'. n e next morn, e world cont spinning, tough training resumed, i could hear his mind clearly sounding-let it go..his face reflects it all..i pitied him..

Im so excited for da who's coming back todae! Dad received a call frm him in thailand on his flight back todae n i die die wanna talk to him cos it's my last for dis whole month cos i'm going section field camp todae as well..Manz! felt so homely when i hear him! ah...hahaha..

So lil bro, when ur back n readin dis very blog, many things happened when ur away n ur presence was so missed by many! while u share ur rich experience in excercise cresendo, do rmb to supplement ur body quickly so as to recover from fatigue! haha..

I'll talk to ya more when i'm back frm field camp...n e adaptor rite, if pa or ma ask u come down siglap or anything, go siglap centre basement n look for one com store n ask him bout e adaptor...get e spoilt one from pa n show him cos e last time i asked tt guy, he challenged me e voltage..no choice i suck thumb n walk out..haha..

It's a month long since i last saw u! Meet up MeeT up MeET Up sOoN! i predict ur more tired, shack out, thinner n deprived of food! rite rite? pray for my field camp...cos my knees dunno why dis period quite weak then like anytime ready to snap..need lotsa motivation to press on..im going in...take gd care manz!!!! can't wait to be back for CNY n e whole family will haf fun again...late nite movies included! ur turn to take care of e house liao! hehz..

Permission to carry on SiR! =) *salutes*

It's kinda weird when im back n hearing from peeps tt i'm enjoying myself in NS...i guess ul know wads next on e line...its actually e other way round..

I've met my challenge-

Myself.

I've lost tempo since i left BMTC at tekong for OCS...like i've predicted bt not speculated by many, ill lose quite alot during OCS..kinda dipped in my motivation of which is very unlike e chia many remembered...i couldn't really identify myself either...

So, dis call for a IA. Immediate Action. Before i suffer any longer under dis influence, i had better quickly find a firm purpose and reason being in OCS. Why officership should be mine to own n how confident i should be, wanting to be an officer. Dunno whyz, e momentum juz cease..if e rhytum dun return quickly, my attitude and all will soon suffer. Not because i'm distracted by anything, bt im beginning to feel really 'sianz'. I failed one of my theory test(which is totally dumb cos it was such easy paper n i couldn't finish cos i was soooo sleepy n i find it hard to catch up with all e lectures when there is no proper time for us to digest e materials n understand e contents..its e same for e others bt i find my very incompetent if i dun grab it wif 80% effort.. Dis is bad ah kids. No good no good. DUN learn, negative demostration...

Right. So i msged my cell member n ask how she's doing in her ldership routing...little did i noe she's not really coping well generally in all aspect. Ha..it was e most right time to let her noe lders like me will fall sometimes n its only human..of course, we encouraged one another n i was again reminded, a lder MUST be different because he/she will be trained differently and expected to carry load tt others might not be able to hold on to...tt spirit will cause e motivational influence in many lives...

Then again, i observed myself n realized i'm changing..i've been training to be a more secular lder than a Godly one...Tho e spirit prompts, its really hard to keep to e christ-like standards...Basically, i'm losing bit by bit everydae..Like taught to my kids, just confess n shame e devil:
- not commited to savour e word of e Lord
- sloppy prayers
- over exposure to wordly standards of e world
- poor discipline of e heart


I need a thrash talk n prayer wif e Lord soon. In fact, shld be after i finish wif dis. Prayers are REALLY impt n let me tell u why...

Despite i really feel like a quitter somehow(of which i'm still holding on to e left-over confidence), God proved Himself when u stay faithful..

If u guys noe bout my dad situation, he's been not on his career path for bout 4 years...I've been praying since then wif da and its finally answered 4 years later..my answer came aft 4 years becos i was willing to wait for a better cause..He was faithful..really faithful..

I prayed n decided to believe tt my old notepad(story written on e prev entry) will come back to me, it did...somehow incredibly returned back to owner..i dunno how, but 1 week later, it 'walked' back to me..i din lose tt faith..

Now, if i cont to fail to believe n haf faith i can overcome all dis wif Him, tink ill 'poof!' n be a goner altogether...i haf to gain back all e confidence n motivation, somehow, thru God..i MUST. Wad is an officer who cannot motivate himself bt expects his men to be motivated? Bull story..so buck up..

N i was reminded by dis cab driver whom i believe was Godly inspiring..while i was telling him bout my upcoming field camp in e next four days to come, i was hoping it wouldn't rain...bt then he commented, 'look at e positive side..at least when it rains, the trees n grass would gain their opportunity to quench their thirst..as long Spore is away frm earthquakes n natural forces, we are well blessed..'

I gave him e 'kangeroo kena spotlight' face n was left astounded. Simple theory, bt e hrt filled wif compassion even for e 'non-living' living things...

N of course, i've lacked in my FEELINGS! Everydae train to whack enemy only..of course turned to be like this..

Enuff of sad story, ill bring u guys good news when i 'fight' a battle tt is mine dis coming week.


Pray wif me.