Sunday, August 20, 2006

In this month alone, i was rejected 4 times regarding certain stuffs. Deeply disappointed, i knelt during prayers in my room, almost amounting to tears..

1. I was out from e Army Half Marathon running team for OCS- tho' i really tried, i'm still not gd enuff for e speed n time

2. Wanted to join e telematch to relax n haf fun then kena kick out to join vertical marathon to win awards. I din't even haf a choice?

3. Chosen for parade commander selection. Everything went on so well till i was kicked out cos i wasn't tall enuff. Why go thru all e stages n tell me only at the end?! I was so ready to perform n do my parents proud on e dae n keep silent for a surprise...why take tt away frm me?

4. Was in e Sword of Merit list. Till i was kicked out again due to some error they din't foresee. So why let e word out i was in n latter tell me e sad news? I wanted so much to surprise my bro n let him noe im capable to lead him on with a standard on par with him. Why take it away, again?!

i questioned God like mad. On my knees, my world came to halt. I'm hearing too much of myself. I got answers e next dae.

God u loved me. I don't wanna live my life for other 'idols'. I drew a full-stop to all these wordly awards. Whatever i am, i offer it to You, n only. Enuff is done. I've strived n tried too much. Time to let go......

n let You.
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